Three's a Crowd
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: The third installment in the Cub'verse. Furthering the story of Castle, Kate, and their family. If you haven't read Number One and Two Hearts, you will probably be completely lost.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Cub would exist if I owned it.  
**

**A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this first chapter of the next journey in the Cub'verse. Also, a lot of people really wanted that mirror scene (you know the one) and I decided to revisit that.  
**

It's something tight and uncomfortable - a knot in her chest. She's been here for hours, filing paperwork and at least there's that. At least the first day away from her twins is spent doing something mundane. But it's almost worse than a body drop. With a case, she'd stay busy. She wouldn't be sitting here twirling a pen between her fingers and tapping it incessantly against her desk just because she hasn't heard from Castle. No text or anything to let her know if things are okay or if it's turned into world war three in their living room. Nothing.

And she's text him. Twice. She's going to call. She'll end up grabbing her phone - she's already staring at it - and she'll press the speed dial, wait until he answers and if he doesn't then his voicemail is going to hear all about how she feels right now. Maybe she's being too dramatic about it. Maybe. But it's her first full day away from Ella and Charlotte, she's nervous.

It wasn't this bad with Cub - their little baby Wes. She'd spent the day worried and upset but not to this degree. He was just one baby and Castle raised Alexis but now her writer is at home with a toddler and twins that aren't even two months old. Three kids at the same time and she doesn't know if maybe he's in over his head. She feels like he is.

Or maybe she's the one who feels in over her head. Trying to keep things running smoothly between a toddler, a set of twins, a dog and a holiday coming up. It's a bit overwhelming. She hasn't had any time at all to herself to try and plan something for another Valentine's Day together. She feels a bit like a terrible wife and partner because it's tomorrow and she doesn't have any idea what's going on. No clue at all what she'll get him, no dinner reservations to surprise him with. Nothing. She forgot about it completely until a few days ago.

She's useless here. At work. There's nothing that keeps her focused and she's barely paying attention when she fills out the paperwork. She got the date wrong twice on the same form. And her eyes keep landing on her phone.

"You should just call." Her gaze snaps up to the two men staring at her, their faces understanding but just a bit smug.

"Javi's right. You'll never get anything done until you do."

"Maybe after lunch." She can wait. Just a little longer but the next words that leave her lips show how unsure she is. They aren't for the boys' benefit, they're for hers. She's trying to make herself believe it. "I'm sure everything is fine."

She doesn't care for the knowing look Esposito gives or the compassion that lingers in Ryan's eyes. He understands but he remains quiet, doesn't say anything and she's thankful for that. She takes a breath, set on returning to her work when Espo gives a half-quirk of his lips.

"When are you bringing my buddies to visit?"

"Your _buddies_?" He shrugs a shoulder and she shakes her head. For someone she pegged as being completely stoic and unaffected by children, he's a giant softie when it comes to Wes and the two tiny girls. "We brought them a few weeks ago. It's winter, I don't like taking them out much."

She doesn't. Not even when they're all bundled up. She worries about Cash more than Peanut when it comes to one of them getting sick or having some kind of complication. Their Charlotte - the silent baby. She's still quiet, doesn't cry much and then there's Ella. The loud, obnoxious baby who wails as soon as she wants something or is unhappy. Yeah, Kate's sure her writer has his hands full today and with a resigned sigh, she stops glancing at her phone and tries to focus. He'll answer when he has the time. And he does.

* * *

It's loud and it's late. She knows why it took him so long to reply before she ever slides her key in the lock and twists her wrist to open the door. It's the sound of a toddler jabbering at the top of his lungs accompanied by a sharp piercing cry and the whine of a dog. A very unhappy sounding baby. It sounds like Charlie, but she isn't positive until she steps into the loft. Sees the dark haired tiny baby in Castle's arms, face scrunched in displeasure and lip quivering. Even though her girls are identical she _knows _that's Charlotte. Even though she dressed them in the same red footie pajamas with pink and white hearts, she knows the unhappy squall is coming from none other than her usually quiet little Cash.

And judging by the dalmatian hunkered beneath the coffee table, she'd guess the little one just started. Boomer may hate loud noise but after a few minutes, he always comes out to check on the babies. Sniff at them to make sure they aren't broken or something. It's rather amusing.

As soon as she's locked away her gun, she's stepping into Castle's space, reaching for her little girl with an apologetic smile. It's way passed bed time for all three of their little monkeys and she feels like this is her fault. She's been gone too long today, courtesy of a last minute body drop and a few errands she had to run before finally coming home.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late." Not an ideal first day back but Castle doesn't say anything, just shrugs a shoulder and passes over their unhappy daughter. She cradles her, rubs a hand over her head as she tries to soothe her cries into whimpers. "Shhh, s'okay Cash. Momma's here."

"How'd you know this one is Charlie?" The question tumbles between them, a rush of uncertainty lacing the words and she steps back, quirks an eyebrow as a knot tightens around her heart.

He's frazzled, hair a mess and normally she'd find it sexy but right now she's feeling something a little different than arousal. She wants to look down at their baby, watch as she settles and yawns but her eyes are glued to his. The shame shining bright within the blue and she realizes why he didn't answer her back until this afternoon.

"Castle,"

"I -"

"You didn't know which one was which, did you?" It's hard to swallow. And just by looking at him, she can tell he's upset too. "See, this is why I didn't want to go back to work yet."

"Kate, come on, that's not fair."

"Really? You don't even know your own kids." She isn't looking at him, doesn't see the hurt her words cause but she regrets them as soon as she says them. Stepping around him to take a seat on the couch, her son already climbing up next to her and Charlotte blinking calmly. "I didn't mean that..."

"You did."

"No, I - they're identical, Castle. It's bound to happen sometimes, especially since they're so small. I really didn't mean it." She didn't because she's terrified of doing the very same thing, mixing them up and not knowing. That's the thing. She's upset by it, a little amused too but she really didn't mean to make him feel worse than he already does. "It's late, I'm tired and cranky, let's just ignore anything that comes out of my mouth."

He's staring at her, she can feel it but she keeps her gaze locked with her baby girl's, the bright curious eyes. The way she opens her mouth, shoves her fist into it. Sucking loudly at her own skin. It breaks the tension, brings a smile to the detective's face and when she finally looks up to find her husband, he's sitting across from her with the dog at his feet.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to be here for dinner but we got a case and it's a messy one."

"S'okay, Cub wanted to stay awake to see you and Charlie just woke up a few minutes ago, Ella is still asleep." Kate gives him a nod, understanding that the boy pressing into her side, wrapping his fingers around her hand, wouldn't sleep until he'd seen her for the night.

She's not going to say anything about the fact that he should've been in bed almost three hours ago. Not when he's rubbing at his eyes, leaning his head into her shoulder. She just presses a kiss to his hair, wrapping her free arm around him and cuddling a little closer to both of her babies. The smiling little girl pressing into her and the tired little boy yawning at her side.

Charlie's smile fades quickly around her fist, determination settling over her brow and Kate knows that look, understands before the tiny one ever abandons her own fingers and starts to nuzzle at her chest. And honestly, she's breathing a sigh of pure relief. It's been way too many hours and part of her mood can be attributed to the swollen tenderness of her breasts. The ache and discomfort.

She's already reaching to unbutton her shirt, Wes protesting the removal of her arm from around him as she slips the first couple of buttons through the holes. The moment she catches the smirk on Castle's face, she knows they're okay. No lasting damage.

"She's hungry."

"My favorite part of the day, when you drop your top." Her fingers still, her eyebrows raising but she's smiling at him, reaching for the pillow at her side. He doesn't see it coming, the way she flings it at him, smacking him right in the face. Causing Cub to burst into a fit of giggles that have him hunching over, pointing at his Daddy and laughing even harder. "Was that necessary?"

"It was. There are children in the room." She winks at him. A promise of more as he pushes himself up from the chair.

"I'll get Ella."

"Thank you." As soon as he's up the stairs, she's tugging her shirt out of the way, settling Charlie on the side she's claimed as hers. The little one already getting excited. Her mouth trying to find purchase against the cotton. "Patience Charlotte."

"Momma," Her boy still full of giggles leans in closer, puts his hand on his sister's head. Kate loves him, loves that he's trying to help as she pulls the last barrier out of the way.

"You're the best big brother, Cub." He nods. Even though she's pretty sure he doesn't fully understand. He's still smiling at her, his hand over Charlie's ear as she latches on, wiggling to get comfortable. Little moments like these, her son petting his little sister's head and her daughter's nose pressing into her chest, nuzzling, eyes wide open, it's these moments that she misses the most when she's at work.

The way her baby clenches her tiny fingers, the sound of a gulp as she greedily tries to fill her stomach. It has Kate stifling a laugh, eyes lifting when Castle appears at her side, a yawning whimpering Ella in his arms. She tries to adjust, stretching her legs along the length of the couch, careful not to squish Wes into the cushion. She needs the space though, easing Charlotte at an angle to let Castle settle Ella into her arm.

She catches his smirk when he's the one to ease the cup of her bra down, the thumb that brushes along the skin he uncovers sending goosebumps racing along her flesh and she rolls her eyes, tilts her head towards him as he helps support Ella. He's so focused on their little girls, not even paying attention until she whispers his name. Rick. And then he's looking at her, seeing what she's wanting and he closes the distance, pushes his mouth into hers until a little hand pushes at his jaw, and their son interrupts with a giggle.

"Alright little Cub, time to leave Momma alone."

"No!" His new favorite word that's accompanied with a severe shake of his head. A pout already forming on his lips when Castle lifts him from the couch. "Momma!"

"Hey, shh, it's time to sleep little man." Not even the velvet calm of her voice or her words are enough to stop him from wiggling, trying to squirm his way back to her even as his father carries him over to the chair, cradles him against his chest as if he's still an infant. She watches the struggle, knows their son is too tired but after several minutes of trying to climb down only to be thwarted in his mission by the arms holding him, he sighs, drops his head to his father's shoulder. Kate leans back into the arm of the couch with a smile playing at her lips.

Stubborn little boy. She glances over every few seconds, watches his eyes droop with every stroke over his back by Castle's hand but he doesn't give in. Even when she stops looking and stares down at the two girls in her arms. Ella is the first to fall asleep, maybe fifteen minutes and her head is falling back into the crook of Kate's elbow, mouth open and eyes closed. She sleeps like her father.

"Our Ella must be tired."

"She's not the only one." And it's the tone he uses that has her heart swelling in her chest. He's admitting that the day has taken its toll on each of them. Cub tiredly babbling, Ella already breathing deeply, and Charlie still staring with wide beautiful eyes. At least one of their kids is still alert.

"Were they okay today? You didn't have too much trouble, did you?"

"No. We were fine, for the most part. Besides the whole not being sure - why did you dress them the same?"

"I thought it was adorable. Tomorrow is -"

"Valentine's Day, I know." She'll be a bit more careful next time. Maybe put bows in their hair, different colors or something. "I'm gonna take this one up to bed, I'll be back down in a few minutes. Warm you up something to eat."

"I'm not that hungry." It's an argument that falls on deaf ears, he won't listen. She knows he won't but she really doesn't want to move, doesn't want to give up the babies in her arms. He pretends he doesn't hear her, standing with a cuddly Wes in his arms but she knows it isn't going to be that easy and the second their boy realizes what's happening, his head starts shaking, arms reaching for her.

"Momma!"

"Baby, I'll be here when you wake up. You need to go to sleep." His lip is already trembling, eyes watering and Kate kisses his cheek when Castle leans down to let her tell him goodnight. She carefully maneuvers Ella to rest against her knees, reaching up to ruffle her son's hair. "I love you, little Cub."

"My. My." It's another word he's learned and it took Kate almost a week to realize he means 'mine' but his mouth doesn't form the full word yet. He tries though. "My."

She looks up at him, his hands reaching, fingers wiggling and she realizes he's not wanting her at all. At least, not anymore. His eyes have moved to rest over his sleeping sister, darting up to the hungry one still nursing. He wants them and she catches her writer's gaze, gives him a nod. He kneels, lets Cub press his mouth to Ella's head, her nose scrunching and a sigh leaving her lips but her eyes never open.

"My." Her heart bursts every single time she sees him like this. So loving and in awe of the tiny little beings that are his sisters. His Lala and Lee. He pats Cash on the back, nose bumping into her ear as he sloppily kisses her. She whimpers for a brief second, pulling back to frown before she decides it isn't worth crying over and Kate wonders if this is how kids normally react to siblings. She wouldn't know. Something tells her that their Cub is going to be a softie because she's pretty sure most seventeen month old's aren't quite this sweet.

He looks up at her, whispering 'my' over and over. She can tell he's getting upset, brow pinching together as he looks at the stairs, pointing, and then back down at his sisters.

"I think he wants to take them with us." Castle's right, she knows he is when something hopeful catches fire in her son's eyes.

"Oh Cub, no. Charlie's still hungry and they can't sleep in your bed."

"Momma" It's a whimper, enough of one to break her heart and form a knot in her throat as she watches her husband carry their son away. Tears already slipping down his cheeks. He doesn't understand and she really wishes he did. It wouldn't be so hard to tell him 'no' if he could fully comprehend why the twins can't sleep with him.

"Just you and me, Charlie." The baby coos, smiling up at her and she strokes a thumb over her cheek. The smooth skin like silk beneath her touch, Charlotte kicking her legs and Ella sleeping quietly. The roles reversed for the moment. "You're a hungry little thing. Doesn't Daddy feed you?"

Her only reply is the way her daughter nuzzles closer and the press of a cold wet nose against her arm. Boomer deciding to join their conversation, his blue eyes wide and questioning.

"Hey there, Booms. You made sure Daddy fed the babies, right?" She doesn't know how or why but the dog has become an integral part of their family. Even when he's snoring loudly in the middle of the floor or stealing cheese puffs from Wes, he's still one of the best spontaneous decisions she's ever made. "I bet you need to go outside."

His tails thumps against the floor, his mouth opening and tongue flopping out. Their ungraceful, clumsy, scared of everything dog. He's a mess and he fits in. Even now as he sniffs at Ella sleeping on her thighs, his nose pushing into her cheek, tongue darting out to lick her face, sliding over her nose and making her fuss for a brief second, he somehow just fits here. She can't imagine any of this without him around.

"Booms!" Before Kate can even begin to scold him, he's walked away and already curling up beneath the coffee table. It takes her a minute, watching as Ella turns her head, and then she's chuckling. They have the weirdest dog.

She adjusts her shirt, fixing herself as she lifts Charlie to her shoulder. It takes a bit of skill, to fix her bra and tug her shirt around her without jostling either baby too much but she manages. Her hand patting against Cash's back, the little one already snuggling into her neck. The baby's breath warm against her skin and tiny fingers curling at her collarbone.

"I missed you." It's a whisper into soft fine hair. A promise of love. "And Ella and Wes. I guess I kinda missed your Daddy too..."

"I heard that." She doesn't care, smiles at him when he lifts the sleeping baby from her lap. "Looks like I missed the rest of 'Cops Gone Wild'."

She laughs, can't stop it from bubbling out as his eyes skim over her half opened shirt.

"You're a pervert." He doesn't deny it, doesn't try just leans in to kiss her cheek, cuddling Ella into his shoulder and she catches the way he nuzzles their daughter.

The same love shining in his eyes when he looks at any of their kids. It settles warm in her abdomen, a rush of heat that races through her veins and she's reminded as she kisses Charlotte's head, him doing the same to Ella Jo, that it's been way too long since they've touched. Anything more than the brush of lips, hands and arms as they pass a toddler and babies back and forth. She bites her lip, eyes darkening and meeting his. Finding the words that will have him rushing through their night.

"Maybe I'll give you a private show after these two are in bed."

* * *

She almost falls asleep waiting on him, her clothes already stripped away. The bed is soft, her exhaustion creeping in but then she hears him, catches the click as he locks the door and she's smiling. Not opening her eyes but still smiling and waiting. Listening as he peels out of the fabric keeping them apart. Feeling the bed dip and the heat of his skin as he settles over her, mouth landing beneath her eye, legs tangling with hers.

"Hey," She breathes it into him. Catches his mouth with her own when he tries to pull back. A lazy meeting. Soft and open. His hands already set on exploring her skin as she tilts her head, lets his teeth graze over her chin, down her neck. "Eager for that private show, I see."

He bites into her shoulder, a nip of retaliation for her teasing words - the slide of her toes along the back of his calf. But it's the first touch of his fingers against her stomach that has her shivering, pushing them away, wishing he wouldn't go _there_. He catches her hand with his, twines them together and becomes something soft against her. Body melting into hers and kisses becoming nothing more than the press of his lips to her skin.

"Kate," She should've known he isn't going to just let it go. That he doesn't notice her hesitating. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lies. And when he places his palm against her middle, she knows she flinches, knows that he realizes exactly what's going on. He pushes up from the bed, leaving her and she closes her eyes, wills herself to stop being an idiot.

He's grabbing her hand, pulling her up before she can protest, dragging her through their bedroom and then pushing her into the bathroom with gentle hands on her hips. She doesn't understand. And then he's flipping on the light, making her face the mirror and she does.

"Castle,"

"No. Apparently we need to revisit all the things I love now that you're no longer carrying our daughters." She sighs, leans back into his chest, not even making a remark about them both being nude. It won't stop him.

"No, it's not that I don't -"

"If you're uncomfortable, then I obviously haven't made myself clear."

"You have. I know you love me, and you adore our kids and it has nothing to do with that Castle, it's just..." She doesn't know how to say it. How to put into words that she's just vain enough to be upset over the marks in her skin, the softness that lingers around her stomach.

"Then I don't understand because you can't even tell you had twins Kate, you can't even tell you've had a baby at all."

"I have stretchmarks. Those are proof." He traces over the most prominent one, the longest, his fingers soft and tickling against her skin. Warm as his mouth presses to her shoulder. She watches their reflections. Watches as he skims up to the scar along her ribs.

"You know how much I love this, right?"

"I might remember you saying something about it being beautiful."

"It saved your life, Kate." She knows that and she knows everything he's going to say, every touch he'll make from the round puckering between her breasts to the full weight of them in his hands. The way he touches like he's savoring and she already knows all of it. The way his palms caress, sliding down her sides, smoothing over her stomach, thumb dipping into her navel. "And this, you kept our children safe."

"Castle, you've already done this."

"Then think of this as a refresher." She stops grumbling accepts that she won't be able to keep him from continuing. So she smiles a little and relaxes into him. She recalls the way their last date with the mirror ended and she's more than just hopeful that this one will go about the same. Or maybe a little differently. It'd be easy to just lean forward, hold onto the counter - forget everything but the way he feels pressing into her. "Everything about you is sexy."

And it actually does make her feel better when he does this. When his voice is low and husky in her ear, hands ghosting and gliding over her bare body, one slipping back around to playfully squeeze her ass, his thumb tracing the mark there.

"I think this one is my favorite."

"Of course it is." But she's smiling, watching his eyes darken in the mirror, laughing at him for the way he nips her neck. "Only you, Castle. Only you would love that I ended up with a stretchmark across my ass."

"I love _you_. And everything that includes. Your stubbornness, how you get tired and cranky when a case doesn't go the way you want it to, the way you love our kids, the fact that you've had _my _kids. All of it. And I'm saying this now, so listen up,"

She sighs, closes her eyes when his fingers slip south. His voice echoing in her ear and his breath hot on her skin.

"I think you're sexier now than ever before." And that does it. Steals a moan from her lungs and has her pushing her hips back into him. The mood fully returning, the fire lighting in her blood and the haze of arousal dancing in her eyes when she opens them, meets his gaze in the mirror. "How 'bout we go back to bed?"

She spins into him, hands at his chest and pushing up on her toes to hover near his mouth.

"No." She kisses him, a tease of her lips as she steps back into the counter, reveling in the way he follows. "Here."

* * *

She wakes to the smell of coffee, tempting and delicious. Pulling her into consciousness and making her open her eyes to the light flooding into the room. And the sound of little feet that has her turning, watching as her son toddles towards her, his father lingering right behind with a baby in each arm and a cup of coffee dangling carefully from one hand. Two different outfits today. One pink and one green, both girls wide awake.

"Morning, we thought you might want a little family time before work."

"You thought right." She reaches for Cub, grabbing at him as he tries to climb up on the bed without using his hands. Something folded in them. She takes it as soon as he settles at her side. Him in his Finding Nemo pajamas that he just _has _to wear every single night. It's a recent thing that she hopes he'll outgrow. "What is this?"

"We made you a card...again. But this time, the girls helped." It's ridiculous. They're not even two months old but she nods, as if she believes him, widens her eyes and opens her mouth in surprise for their son's benefit when she sees the intricately drawn heart on the front of the pink paper.

"Oh Wes! Did you draw this all by yourself?" Castle winks at her, perches himself on the edge of the bed and hands her the coffee as Cub chatters on about his creation. She steals a sip before sitting it on the nightstand so she can open the card. As soon as she does glitter spills out, sticking to the sheets and the shirt she's wearing.

It's not her shirt so she doesn't mind all that much but she still quirks an eyebrow in her husband's direction. Tries not to let the fact that Ella is chewing on his finger distract her but it's too cute.

"Ella Jo got a little carried away with the glitter." It has her lips spreading, splitting open until she's smiling bright enough that her cheeks will start to hurt if she keeps it up.

"_Oh_. I bet she did."

"Momma."

"I love it Cub, you did good." He beams at her, teeth showing and eyes squinting as she pulls him into her lap, lets him snuggle in her arms. "No cute little message inside?"

"This one is strictly from the kids. You gotta wait for mine."

"Good. Because you have to wait too." She doesn't want him to know that she's been so worked up over going back to work and handling three kids that she almost forgot. "But, uh, yours won't be done for a few days."

"What is it?"

"You know I'm not going to tell you." She won't. Not even when he rests Ella on her knees or when he presses a kiss to her lips, loving and soft. Questioning and devious. She'll also never reveal that she didn't even order it until yesterday when she was getting lunch. "I gotta go soon."

"Enjoy some time with the munchkins first." And she does. She plays with Wes, tickling him until he's pushing at her hands and yelling 'Momma'. And she makes faces at her babies, Cub joining in and giggling when Ella starts scrunching her nose and Charlotte purses her lips. She lives for this now. Seeing her family, spending time with them. Even when the dog bounces up on the bed to join and she's shaking her head at Castle for letting him.

This is how she spends her Valentine's morning. Accepting snuggles from her son, spending time with her daughters, making sure they're both fed and clean before she has to leave. And when she's tripping over her own feet, trying to hop to the door while pulling on a pair of heels, she sees the envelope on top of the safe that her gun is locked inside.

Her name written on the front. Her full name. Katherine Houghton Castle and she knows that it's her gift. That he wanted her to find it on her way out the door while he's busy strapping babies into bouncers with Wes trying to help. She catches his eye as she slips her thumb inside, prying it open and pulling the contents out.

A reservation card inside. She reads it, lets it sink in and she's doubling back to give him just one more kiss before she has to go because he really is the best husband she could've ever asked for. When she has her arms around his neck, mouth against his, she smiles and sets the words free.

"You got us a couple's spa date?"

"Thought you might like it. Happy Valentine's Day." She lets him steal one last kiss before she has to go. "I'll call you later. Around nap-time."

"Sounds good." And as soon as she's out the door, she's back to being Detective. No longer 'Momma' or 'Kate', she's back to being a cop. But it isn't the same as it used to be. Because she's Detective Castle. And every time she says it, she's reminded of the family she has waiting for her at home.

**a/n: You'll find out what Kate's gift was in the next chapter. ;)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.  
**

**A/N: For Ris and for Sav because I love these two like they're part of my family and I really want them to know. **

**I was actually in a pretty bad spot in life and then I started talking to you guys. Now I remember how to be myself and make no apologies for it. I feel like I can tell you everything and you won't judge me, you'll just be there. I really do love you both like you're my sisters. So from now on, I'm claiming you as family because that's what you've been. You both helped pull me out of the hole I've been living in and I really just want to say thank you for that. And I really love you. That is all.  
**

**STRONG T RATING FOR THIS CHAPTER.**

The day is a good one. Relatively. Kate weighs in on a few things that aren't so great but for the most part, she's pleased. A little too pleased, actually. Her mind keeps backtracking to the feel of arriving at the precinct this morning with Castle right next to her - their coffees in hand. It's been so long since he accompanied her. He helps out on cases but usually only when someone in the family offers to keep their little tykes for the day. So yeah, she's smiling a little more, leaning a bit too close when he spouts theories that are absolutely ridiculous.

There's no way aliens and ghosts are involved on the same case. No. Wait. What is she even thinking? There's no way aliens or ghosts are _ever _involved. And certainly not an alien's ghost. But it's still good to have him sitting next to her, in his chair, making her roll her eyes and flick her pen at him when he wiggles his eyebrows.

And then he does it. Says the one thing that stops her heart in her chest, has her craving him even more than when they were finishing each other's sentences. One simple question and she's glancing at him, eyes locking and heat surpassing the need to remain professional.

"Do you think the kids are okay? I know Cub was really excited about spending time with your dad but -"

"I'm sure everything is fine." She is. She knows her father is more than capable of handling one rambunctious little toddler and the girls are in good hands. She's never known him to the be the one worrying and it's refreshing. Stunning her, rendering her incapable of taking her eyes off of him as he stares into nothing.

"Ella was crying when we left."

"Castle, she's three months old. She cries, okay?" But it hurt her too. It always does. She just isn't making this about herself because clearly he's the one that needs the support. And even though she loves that he's here, that they're working together, that he's once again here as her partner, she's reaching out to stroke her fingers across the back of his hand. "If you want to go -"

"C'mon Kate, you can't get rid of me that easily."

"Who said I was trying to get rid of you?" She wants to do the opposite. She wants to keep him. "Besides, I think I've realized that's impossible."

"Took you long enough." The playful glint is back in those blue eyes, a spark that jumps out, ignites something inside of her. He's here. Working a case. Her husband is back as her partner. How they started and he didn't _shave. _He's scruffy and she absolutely loves it. "I was thinking for the girls' first birthday we could -"

Her brain is already silencing his words, her body reacting to the fact that he's planning so far ahead for their children and she's swallowing the lump in her throat. The knot that tangles. Maybe she wasn't ready for him to be here. Maybe she's still not ready because they can't do this. But she is. She's doing it. She's reaching for him once she stands, pulling roughly on his hand until he's stumbling along behind her. Because he's too much for her to handle when he talks about their perfect babies and his scruffy jaw is enough to push her into overdrive.

"Wha -"

"Quiet." She's not doing this. There's no way she's actually contemplating it but she knows as soon as they reach the empty room that there's no going back. But he has to be _quiet_. She just wants a brief second to hug him, maybe kiss him. That's what she tells herself to justify her actions. To justify the fact that she's about to pull him into an empty interrogation room.

She knows the moment she's looking around, making sure no one notices, he catches on. Or maybe it's that her hand has developed a mind of its own, abandoning his fingers and tugging on his waistband of his pants to drag him inside. He says nothing when she locks the door, only raising an eyebrow in question and gesturing to the door. His watch catches the light. The one she got him for Valentine's. The one that has all of his kids' birthstones. Alexis the twelve, Wes the three, and the girls are the six and nine. He rarely takes it off - only to shower and sleep - and he's so proud of it that he's wearing it now. Here. In the precinct and she _knows_.

She knows she's screwed. She's lying. She doesn't want to _just _have a little moment with him, no. No. She just wants him. Here.

It's dangerous, it's not something that she should even consider but her mouth is against his before she can stop herself. Hands with fistfuls of his collar, dragging him closer. He mumbles something into her. But she doesn't listen.

It's the rush in her blood, the heightened sense of awareness that has her pushing him against the wall, her mouth at his ear, teeth tugging. His hands surprisingly lax against her, a gentle weight resting almost timidly on her hips and she's been so sure this whole time that this would be hot for him, one of his fantasies coming true. But he's not _moving_. And that's what she really wants - why she really pulled him in here. His pants around his ankles and him _moving_.

"Ka- Jesus Kate! Aren't there ah, cameras?"

"Shut up." Her lips close over the lobe of his ear, hips pushing into his.

"I just -" She shoves at his shoulders, pushing herself away with a scrape of her teeth along his skin. Eyes locking with his, seeing the reality of how conflicted he is. Feeling the proof pressed against her.

"Castle, shut up. For once just stop talking. We need to hurry." And as soon as the words are out, his entire demeanor changes. Back straightening and the smug twist of his lips tells her that she's just tilted her hand. Let him see every card she has.

He turns the tables, and she's the one pressed to the wall with his clever smart mouth biting her name into her skin, hands fumbling to get her shirt unbuttoned. Her fingers already tugging the belt loop of his pants because honestly, she couldn't care less about anything other than wrapping her legs around his bare waist.

"Off." Her harsh breathy whisper flutters out between them as she pulls the fabric. "Now."

It isn't graceful, the way they push layers out of the way just far enough to touch. Her shirt snagged at her elbows, his barely undone. The quick escalation from groping to bodies joining. The push and pull, the part of her lips beneath his, the way they curl around each other. It's fast and messy and she moans out a laugh, slapping her hand over his mouth when he gets a little too noisy.

Something about it - about the risk - makes it so much hotter, has her dropping her head to his shoulder, face buried in his neck and hips moving to match his. The scrape of his scruffy unshaven face over her flesh. It's the sweat on their skin when they still, the sharp burst of pain at her collarbone, the stuttered gasp it pulls from her. The feel of his fingers slipping through her hair, pushing it back and she's raising up, meeting his lips for something softer, a loving kiss before it's a rush of panic and fixing clothes.

She can't believe she just did that. With him. In the precinct. But she isn't sorry. Doesn't care a bit because there was no real threat of being caught and he's here. With her. Talking about the case and then about Ella and she just wanted to show him how much she misses him pulling her pigtails at work. Although, she didn't quite plan on it being anything more than a private conversation, a few stolen kisses.

Instead, she's pulling her pants back up her legs, buttoning them with a smile on her face as he stumbles over his own, crashing into the table and cursing. She helps. Lends him a hand, buttons his shirt and fixes the collar. He steals another kiss when she's slipping her fingers through his hair, trying to tame it.

"Go. I'll be out in a minute."

She leaves with her lip between her teeth. And when he joins her, he has two steaming cups in his hands. Just like old times.

* * *

But she doesn't miss it when they're home. Doesn't miss the job or working with him because this is better. Having their family is so much better. With their little boy between them and each of them holding a sleeping baby, she doesn't miss anything. With her eyes on the dark haired Cash in her arms, her fingers stroking through the soft locks, she knows this is where their partnership matters the most.

"Want me to take Charlie?" She doesn't. Not really. But she lets him, knows that he's just putting both girls in the playpen for their evening nap. She can still see them. And as soon as he's laying them down, she's pulling her baby boy into her lap.

"Momma"

"Yes, Cub?" He waves his fingers in front of her face and blows her a kiss. His somewhat uncoordinated moves making it even cuter. She tickles his belly, makes him swat at her to get her to stop. And when he's breathless, no longer able to giggle, she does. Pressing her lips to his nose and rubbing her hand over his back.

Her dashing little boy in blue. His eyes curious and always full of questions, learning something new every single day and she's never bored with him around. There's always something interesting going on. Whether it's him and Booms getting into things they shouldn't like the cookies that used to be kept in the cabinet but now reside up on the counter out of reach, or if it's just when he's in a cuddle-me mood. Like now.

His head pressing into her chest, fingers clutching in the worn cotton of her sleep shirt. She cuddles back. Arms around him, mouth resting against his wavy hair. Castle eases down next to them and she lets her body lean against his. Shoulders touching as their son decides that cuddles are over and pulls back with a grunt when Kate tries to hold on just a moment longer.

He's not the most patient child.

"Alright, little Wes, no need to growl." He does it again. Smiling this time and then his eyes catch on something, his fingers coming up to poke at her skin. She winces, looking down to see why that actually stings.

"Ow. Momma ow, ow." The bruising is what she notices first, the fact that their little boy is poking at it doesn't help. And then she realizes what it is - where it's from. Or actually whom.

Teeth marks, imprinted into her. Oh. _Oh. _He bit her. She knows, has known since it happened but she didn't even think about it at the time. The fact that there's now a bruise over her collarbone. And her son - a one year old - knows that it's an 'ow'. She catches Castle's smirk, hears Wes say 'ow' again and she's narrowing her eyes.

"Oh no, don't even look at me like that. This isn't my fault. I'm not the one who dragged you into an interrogation room with my hand down your pants."

"My hand wasn't down your pants."

"Close enough." He has a point and she can't dispute but she wants to. She doesn't. Not right now. Instead she gently pulls Wes' fingers from the mark and leans further into the man that put it there. She'll just get him back later. "I mean, I'm not complaining."

"Didn't think so."

"But that actually happened." She'll let him have this moment. She's known it would come eventually.

"It did."

"And you started it."

"I did." She expects some smart ass remark, him pushing it, something - anything but the warm press of his lips to her temple, the arm that sneaks it's way behind her shoulders to pull her closer as their son grows uninterested and climbs down. His toys suddenly grabbing his attention. The laptop he carries around everywhere and the _annoying _song it sings.

She settles in content. Shifting closer until she's curling into Castle's side, arm settling over his stomach. Her body relaxed and a smile playing at her lips as she watches Boomer sidle up next to Cub, lie down and put his head by the boy's feet. Those two are inseparable. A boy and his dog.

"I'm gone for the day and I swear he's bigger, Kate, taller. Our son is growing."

"They all are." Her eyes drift, catching the snoozing babies, the shape of their noses, the curve of their lips. Ella's parted, mouth wide open and Charlie's closed, pursed as if she's dreaming about something unpleasant. All of their tiny little babies are getting bigger and she can't wait. She wants them all talking, all enjoying life, being in this, becoming their own person but she also wants to stop time, keep them little, keep them small enough that they'll never stop wanting to snuggle.

She squeezes the man she's wrapped around, closing her eyes for a brief second as Cub chatters happily to the dog at his feet. He's still little when she opens them. Still just her wild toddler.

"Promise me something, Kate?" Anything. She'll promise him anything when he's whispering, his eyes on their son, the blue full of love that doesn't leave when he gazes down at her. Well...almost anything. She gives a nod, wants him to just get on with it. "When they stop wanting to cuddle, I'll still have you."

And she's laughing into him, pushing up against him to press a kiss to his rough chin, then his lips. She doesn't tell him that she was worrying over the same thing. Doesn't tell him that that's the reason she just squeezed him tighter. He's sappy enough for the both of them.

"You're ridiculous."

"That's why you love me." She hums against him, her nose slipping down to press to the underside of his jaw. Yeah, she'll still cuddle with him. "And why you can't keep your hands off of me."

And just like that he has her rolling her eyes, shoving at him as she pulls away to watch as Wes sits on top of their sleeping dog. His laptop on his legs and smiling happily. Boomer doesn't even move.

"Weston!" It's not the warning she was hoping for, her voice cracking on a laugh. She's still pawing at Castle, pushing when he tries to snuggle back up to her.

"Momma."

"Wes, don't sit on Booms." The dog raises his head when he hears his name, blue eyes blinking. He doesn't move out from under Cub and Kate decides to just leave them alone. She likes to think their Boomer would be smart enough to move out of the way if he was uncomfortable. "Fine, silly dog."

And somehow in the mix of her trying to get their son to move, Castle has pulled her back into his arms. She's not sure how this happened or why her hands are the ones pulling him closer. She almost groans when she realizes exactly how true his words are. She really_ can't_ keep her hands to herself. She gives in, doesn't even care that he's smirking into her cheek, lips dancing softly along her skin.

She's too busy pushing at his chest, making him lean back until she can sprawl out with him, tuck herself between his body and the back of the couch. And when Cub places his fingers to his lips, telling them to 'shhh', she just smiles and makes herself comfortable. Burying her face in the writer's neck and squeezing at his side when he chuckles.

"Don't say a word, Castle."

**a/n: Next up is family day. Cub loving his sisters and Becks enjoying a day off. THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO READS AND REVIEWS. WILL REPLY SOON. ;)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Castle still isn't mine.  
**

**A/N: Forgive any typos and such towards the end. I'm typing one handed because I dislocated my shoulder in my sleep. Apparently I'm a badass assassin in my dream state. That's also the reason this chapter and my other updates are late.  
**

Usually she wakes to the sound of babies crying or Wes patting at her cheek and her husband standing over her but when her body drifts in from the few hours of rest she's managed, there's only the sound of Castle's voice. The smack of wet lips around small hands being gnawed on. The coo of her daughter - one of them. She only hears one - cracks open an eye to see Charlotte wide awake against her father's knees, his hands tugging gently at her tiny fingers.

Soft delicate perfect pale skin wrapped in pink. Her bright eyes, the dark locks, the elephants stamped to the front of her onesie. Castle knows it's one of her favorites. The mom and baby elephant, the words scrawled next to them. 'I love mommy' and Kate's actually tempted to kiss him just for dressing their little girl in it but she resists. Smiles softly at her daughter, almost reaches for her, fingers twitching next to her husband's thigh. But she doesn't.

"Gotta be quiet little Cash, Momma's tired. Want to hear a story?" Kate doesn't wiggle. Doesn't let him know she's already joined their land of the living.

She wants to hear what he says to their lazy baby. She settles back into the mattress, lets the blank slate greet her vision as she closes her eyes. Something tells her she's making the right choice. That she wants to hear this.

She won't interrupt. She'll stay here, curled on her side with her body so close she can feel his warmth. The rumble of his voice when he speaks.

"You know what I noticed when I first started working with your Momma?" And she's trying her hardest not to smile, not to give herself up because she doesn't want him to stop. She wants to know. "Well, besides her hotness."

She sighs, uses it as an excuse to lazily bury her face in the pillow. Playing it off as a sleep induced shift while her daughter coos happily at her Daddy.

"She was mean." Kate almost snorts at his words. She was _so _not mean. She just didn't put up with his bullshit. "No, I'm serious Cash, she twisted my ears, my nose, slapped at me. Momma was a bully but it was obviously because she had the hots for me."

And that's when she hears it, a hiccup of sound. The first gasping laugh. Her cover is blown the second she opens her eyes, reaching out to stroke over the soft hair on her daughter's head. A dimpled toothless smile and another fresh and new giggle fighting its way from her little one's lungs.

Kate forgets that she was 'asleep', forgets the story her husband was spinning as she pushes herself into a sitting position. Her eyes filling with tears, staring into big blue orbs. Happy and innocent. A perfect replica of the eyes she fell in love with, the man they belong to. Her blue eyed baby Charlotte. Her giggling daughter with the adorable dimples.

"She's laughing."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Oh, long enough." She gives him a smirk and lets her fingers travel up his neck, tripping along warm skin to gently tug at his ear. Affection lacing the move instead of punishment. No painful twist, just a nice easy pull before she abandons him for the wiggly smiling baby propped against his thighs. Hands slipping under little waving arms, lifting her daughter. "Hey beautiful, is Daddy telling wild stories?"

The excited gurgle lets her know that their tyke is in a really good mood. Charlie's mouth wide open, tongue poking out as Kate nuzzles closer, presses her nose to her daughter's. Giving her eskimo kisses before landing her lips on the silky warmth of the baby's cheek. Her fingers caressing along the back of the four month old's neck, fingertips playing with her soft hair.

"Don't believe him, pretty girl. He's full of it." She whispers it against their daughter's warm cheek, knows that her husband hears it when his palm wraps around her thigh.

"We both know it's true. You were crazy about me." She opens her mouth to reply, ready to shoot him down but tiny fingers slap against her arms, another giggle erupting from their little one. And Kate fills with pride. "Always siding with Momma, aren't you Charlie?"

"She's a smart girl." It's obvious Castle doesn't agree. He hums against her temple, his fingers pressing into the tender flesh on the inside of her leg. Too high to be appropriate, and she's biting back a surprised gasp.

She settles Charlie against her chest, turning to smudge her mouth over Castle's rough jaw. She loves when he's scruffy. The scratch against her lips, the way it feels when she parts them, her tongue darting out for a brief taste as she breathes him in. She's always sappy when they're snuggling one or all of their kids. She lets herself become soft, pliant.

With a blue eyed Cash in her arms and her partner at her side, Kate can already tell this is going to be a great day. Nothing will ruin it. So she'll give the man a bit of a break, nuzzle his neck and make a confession.

"I wasn't crazy about you. Not back then...but maybe I'm more than a little crazy about you now." And that's downplaying it. Making it seem less important and soul consuming than it really is but he'll know what she means. He always does. He can see right through her and as insane as it makes her, it's also one of the reasons she loves him.

She gives herself one more second to be in the moment with him - lips against his skin - and then she's turning back to their daughter. The smiling one that's now starting to pout, her brow scrunching as she puckers her mouth. The bright eyes dimming and a whimper leaving her lungs.

"How long has she been awake?"

"Maybe an hour, she was happy though and I didn't want to wake you."

"You hungry baby?" The face she's met with is enough to tell her that yes, her girl is hungry. It's the baby bird thing. An open mouth and her little hands trying to pull Kate's fingers between her lips. "Can you get Ella?"

"I think you need to get her and I'll keep Miss Cash company until you get back."

"Why?"

"Just something you have to see." She really hates when he's vague but with a slightly over exaggerated sigh, she lets him take Charlotte. The baby fussing just a little at the exchange, clearly upset that she's being taken away. It's the way Castle cradles her, lips against her head and nose buried in her soft locks that has Kate pausing before she gets up. Just staring as he comforts their baby. "Shh , Momma will be right back."

And that's her cue, the words that propel her forward and have her leaving the warm bubble of their bedroom to head for the stairs. She's honestly a little surprised that all of the kids aren't awake by now but maybe this means it's going to be an easy lazy kind of day. She almost chuckles at the thought - as if anything involving twins, a toddler, a writer and a dog will ever be _easy_ but she wouldn't have it any other way.

Not anymore. Never again. She'll take this, her family, over everything else the world has to offer. And that feeling only solidifies into something heavy, anchoring, when she enters the nursery and hears the soft whine. The one that morphs quickly into a high pitched cry if someone doesn't tend to the girl. Kate steps over the dog sleeping on the rug in the floor, inching closer to the crib and that's when she sees them.

The wiggling baby in pink isn't alone and she's left a little confused and a lot worried at the sight of her panda pajama clad son curled up next to his sister. It's adorable, the way he's sleeping with his nose almost pressing against Ella's cheek but honestly, the only thing Kate's thinking about is the fact that he crawled out of his bed sometime in the middle of the night when no one was awake and climbed into the crib. He could have fallen, hit his head. He could have climbed over the baby gate on the stairs. So many things and her heart is pounding in her chest.

"Oh Cub." Her fingers reach for him, stroking over his hair as Ella squirms, mouth open and face scrunched, ready to cry. The sound already forming in her lungs and Kate lifts her, bringing her up to her shoulder, a hand on her back to hold Peanut in place as she uses the other to gently prod her son's side. Tickling him until he wiggles, a frown overtaking his features.

"Time to get up Wes, c'mon." It's the fear in her veins that makes her wake him. Has her smiling down as Ella chews on her shoulder and his lashes flutter. "Hey there big man."

"Momma."

"Let's go see Daddy." He's up and reaching for her before she can even mention breakfast. It's an act of balancing. Keeping a hand protectively on Ella's back as she dips to secure an arm around Wes and lift him without losing her grip on either child.

He leans into her, his mouth against her cheek as he smacks a kiss to her skin. A move he's definitely learned from his father but it has her smiling, shaking her head as she carefully sets him down on the floor. Making sure he has his feet beneath him before she lets go, telling him to help her change his sister just to keep him by her side while she gets Ella in a fresh clean diaper.

He's a helper. Always trying to make things easier by lending his clumsy hands and Kate's so proud of him just for that small bit of his personality. Her baby boy, already trying to be a good soul and help others. But he has his moments - the ones that make her cringe and she knows that one is coming. As soon as she has Ella back in her arms and is reaching for his hand, she sees his stubbornness coming out to play.

"You have to hold my hand, Cub." He's defiant when it comes to hand holding. Only clinging for a few seconds before something catches his eye and he takes off in a run but she holds his fingers tightly, not letting him pull away when he sees the stairs.

The little daredevil that is Weston Montgomery sees it as a challenge and not something to be feared. That's why she worries. Why she's going to have to talk to Castle about alternatives. She doesn't want their son getting hurt and when he tugs, his legs carrying him faster, almost stumbling on their downward descent, she's holding him back and not letting go.

"No. Walk _with_ me." He keeps tugging but with each stair they take, it's less of a struggle and he's slowing down. His legs no longer fumbling. "There you go, look at you! Good job, Wes."

And once they're all safely in the living room, she lets go of his hand. Using both of hers to now support Ella, the fusses growing louder with each minute that passes.

"Shh, Ella, it's okay."

"Lala."

"Yeah, she's hungry. Are you hungry?" He points at the kitchen in response. "Go get Daddy and Charlie."

He takes off, legs carrying him as fast as they can and she's left settling in on the couch, pulling her shirt up and her daughter's clenching fingers pinch at her skin. The tender flesh stretched over her collarbone becoming a casualty when nails bite into it, a wail finally working it's way out of Ella's mouth. The beginning and Kate knows after just months that nothing will calm her until she gets what she wants.

"I hear someone's unhappy." She gives Castle a smile, watching him for a moment as Wes pulls him by his hand mumbling 'Momma' the whole time. "And this little panda Cub just demanded I come see."

"I thought while I feed the girls, you could give Wes some cheerios - maybe make some pancakes." The last word comes out on a wince as Ella latches on, hungrily nuzzling her chest. "I'll cook dinner."

"Deal."

* * *

She cooks lunch too. Nothing special. Macaroni and cheese. After battling to get Wes back into clothes after cleaning the cheese off his hands, face, and chest, he's rolling a car back and forth in the floor, both girls enjoying some time on their stomachs to watch their brother. Charlie chewing on her fist and Ella holding tightly to Boomer's tail.

They couldn't have asked for a better dog. He doesn't mind, just licks the top of her head and lays down between the kids. Right in the line of fire and sometimes - like now - Kate wonders if he's a glutton for punishment. The way Wes sits on him, the girls pulling on his ears and tail when he gets close enough and yet, he always wants to be near them. Never growling, never trying to hurt them. He's a patient soul.

"We got really lucky." It's out of her mouth as her legs curl beneath her, toes digging into the couch cushion, and Castle wrapping an arm around her waist. "With Booms."

"He's a good dog."

"The best." And it's only proven when Ella becomes enraptured with his tail, her blue eyes locking on it as if she's just realized it's in her hand. And Kate knows as soon as her lips part that she's going to shove it in her mouth. She does.

Before Kate can push herself up from the couch, their wild daughter is gnawing on Boomer's tail. Slobbering over it and smiling up at Kate when she pulls it away, lifting her from the floor and wiping at her mouth.

"No, Ella. We don't put things in our mouths."

"Actually -"

"Can it, Castle." Her words are followed by a dare. One look that begs him to finish that sentence even though he knows better. He doesn't say another word. "I think it's nap time for all little Castles."

"No." Cub shakes his head, pushing his car faster on the floor as he scoots closer to the dog. "No."

"He's not cranky, Kate, just let him play."

"He's tired though." She can tell. It's in the way he lays his cheek on Boomer's back, his eyes drooping as he stares intently at his car and completely ignores her. "Maybe a few more minutes but not these two."

He doesn't argue. Just takes Charlie when Kate hands her over, keeping Ella to herself. It's a process of rocking, patting, switching positions and babies at least four times before they finally close their eyes. She ends up with a sleeping Charlotte on her shoulder and Ella is still awake, fighting with her father as he rocks her gently.

Ten more minutes, Wes coming over to poke at them twice, Boomer nudging Kate's leg, and Ella gives it up. Losing the battle. They have a follower when they put the girls in the playpen. A toddling one who peeks in at his sisters with a smile on his face and Kate is the one to pull him back, lifting him from the floor to press her mouth against his cheek.

"Leave them be, little Cub. Gotta be quiet now, okay?" He just looks at her, blinking slowly. "You ready for a nap?"

"No."

"Didn't think so." She lets him slide down and walk away, dropping back on the couch with a sigh as Castle chuckles.

"He's got you whipped."

"Me?"

"Yeah, he just looks at you with those big eyes and says 'no' in that soft little voice and you let him go." She pushes at his chest when he pulls her closer, her eyes widening in disbelief. "Face it, you're powerless against the charm of the Castle men."

"You're the one that said he wasn't cranky and to let him stay up a little longer." He grows silent and she smirks at him, knows that she's got him. He has nothing more to say and that's the way she likes it.

She likes her boys when they're quiet. Unless it means they're getting into some sort of trouble and when she turns back to glance at her son, she sees that he's doing just that. His knee already up on the coffee table and his hands pushing against the top to lift himself.

"Weston Montgomery, no." He smiles at her - something she's sure he inherited from his father - and slowly drops back down to the floor, crawling his way over to the car he abandoned and the dog next to it. "I gave birth to a monkey."

"He's just starting to test his limits."

"We need to double up on baby gates if he's already climbing into cribs."

"We can do it tomorrow. For now, relax, just read a book or lie here with me." His voice is what tempts her, has her muscles loosening and her eyes catching with his. She steals a kiss, nipping at his mouth and taking him by surprise when her tongue brushes his bottom lip, soothing the sting of her bite. Pulling him closer before she pulls away.

"I can do that."

And she does. She relaxes into him, watches their son play and makes conversation. Pushing her smile into his chest when she catches sight of their little boy, nuzzling into Boomer, both asleep in the floor. Five minutes ago, she was once again onto him for trying to climb his way onto the table and now he's tuckered out with his buddy.

She doesn't get up, doesn't move him. She's pretty comfortable and when her husband stretches out, she reaches for the book on the end table. Thumbing through the pages until she eases down between his body and the back of the couch. He grunts when she rests the hardback on his chest, his fingers tangling in her hair.

"Hey now,"

"Hush, you said I could read. I'm reading."

"You still have to talk to me." The only reply she gives is a hum, her brain already submerging in the words. "Kate."

"What?"

"Let's talk about our anniversary." She gives up on focusing for a few minutes, lending him her attention because he's talking about their very first wedding anniversary.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"I was thinking we deserve a night to just enjoy each other. Maybe we could get a room, order some champagne and -"

"As great as this sounds, Castle, we're both so exhausted all the time, we'll end up just sleeping." She closes her eyes just thinking about it. The feel of his fingers playing in her hair as he huffs out a laugh.

"That doesn't sound so bad. A night of uninterrupted sleep - best anniversary ever."

"You know what, throw in some dinner and maybe strawberries to go with that champagne and you've got yourself a deal Mr. Castle."

"Consider it done." He turns to face her, lips ghosting over her forehead, thumb rubbing her temple and she wonders how she ever survived those years without his touch. Actually, she knows how she survived but it's not really something she likes to think about. "I know you hate leaving the babies for very long but I think we can take just a night for ourselves."

"You hate it just as much as I do." She smiles at him, protesting weakly when he turns into her, awkwardly pressing the book between their chests. And she knows before she ever fishes it out that he's going to fall asleep too. She kisses him softly, warm and open. Slowly. She isn't tired but she doesn't make him open his eyes when they stay closed.

She shifts, resting the open book against his shoulder at an awkward angle that makes it difficult to read but she doesn't want to move. She can deal with it. She'll let him sleep for a little while. Knowing he's worn out from having the kids while she's working. And that's something else she wants to talk to him about at some point. Her cutting hours and cashing in some vacation days.

A few chapters in and she's being pulled back into reality by her own thoughts. Unable to focus fully on the printed words because her brain keeps reminding her that this is her time off and she wants to spend some time with him. Just him. She feels selfish for it, but it doesn't stop her from dropping the book and letting her fingers settle over her writer's rough jaw.

It's been at least thirty minutes by the time she caresses his skin, finger slipping down the slope of his nose and then she's sliding her mouth over his. Whispering his name into him. A soft sound.

"Castle,"

"Mm."

"You fell asleep."

"Mm."

"Hey, open your eyes." She feels his sigh, his reluctance as he grips her tighter. "Kids are still asleep."

Nothing. No response. She presses her hips into his, lays her lips over his chin.

"We can make-out." He doesn't wiggle but she can feel his smirk. Yeah, she knew he'd like that one. "We could go to bed, maybe fit in a qui-"

His mouth is over hers before she can finish her sentence. Coaxing her lips to part and she's fighting back a smile, choking on her laugh as he slips a hand beneath her shirt. His voice a rumble when she wraps her fingers around his wrist and pulls it back out.

"Kate,"

"Cub's still sleeping in the floor, no groping." It's her rule, one of the very few that he'll actually follow.

But when kissing isn't enough, making out on the couch no longer an option because they have to control themselves, he takes Wes upstairs, and comes back down only to do the same with the girls. She hides her amusement behind her hand, biting her knuckle when he returns, eyebrows wiggling her direction.

"Where were we?" She doesn't get a chance to reply, his lips already hot against her own and the rule goes out the window as she wraps her body around his.

* * *

He has their children in the living room while she cooks. Chopping mushrooms for the pasta. But she's distracted by Cub yelling and Ella being fussy. Their usually happy kids both upset while Charlotte just sits in her bouncer with a smile on her face - kicking her legs and bobbing her head. The ridiculously cute elephant beanie that Castle just had to put on her. And that's when Kate feels the sting, the sharp edge of the knife slicing the tip of her finger.

"Shit." She drops it with a clang, surveying the damage to her digit before she sucks it between her lips. The ache already forming, the metallic taste pouring over her tongue.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just...cut myself." His concern is evident, in his gaze, in the way he holds Ella to his chest, ready to jump up if she needs him. "S'fine though."

"I'll get you a bandAid."

"Thanks." It'd be pointless to tell him no, so she doesn't. She just keeps an eye on the toddler running in circles around Charlie, the dog chasing after him and the giggling little baby.

Her thoughts drift, her son squealing happily. Only returning when Castle appears at her side, Ella still whimpering at his shoulder. She takes the bandage he offers with a soft smile. Wipes the blood away from her finger with a towel before she puts pastes the latex over her skin. She leaves the knife for the moment, not really focused on anything other than the squirming baby and the sounds pouring from her lungs.

"She's been fussy all day."

"You sure you're okay?"

"It's a tiny cut, pretty sure it won't kill me." She leaves out the _'I've had worse'_ because they both know and she knows neither of them need to be reminded. Her eyes stay on Ella, the zebra striped pants and the matching hat. Blue eyes closing as her lip quivers. "You think she's getting sick?"

"I think she's teething."

"I'll pick up some teething tablets tomorrow, we should keep an eye on her tonight though, just in case." He nods distractedly, but she doesn't say anything, just smooths her thumb over Ella's forehead. It quiets her for a moment, makes her open her eyes and just look at them. "Hey there, Ella."

"Want some help finishing dinner?"

"No, I've got it. Just keep our girl happy." She kisses them both on the cheek, ushers him away as Cub comes racing towards them, Boomer following close behind.

"C'mon Wes, Momma's busy making us something delicious."

"Momma."

"Go with Daddy, little Cub." He follows with a pout. One that quickly becomes a smile when Castle mentions making silly faces at Ella. And Kate watches from the kitchen as they sit on the couch, Charlie by their feet and Wes tucked into Castle's side. When he makes a face, the toddler does his best to copy or he just giggles.

But it works - or something does - Ella's whimpers quiet. And while the noodles are cooking Kate joins them for a brief moment, to watch up close as her husband sticks his tongue out at their baby. The girl frowning, opening her mouth. And after a few minutes, she's licking her lips. Smacking loudly.

"Did you see that, Kate?"

"What?"

"She copied. She stuck her tongue out." She won't burst his bubble, tell him that their daughter is probably just getting hungry. "I still can't get her to giggle."

"Give it time, she's just having a bad day."

"It still amazes me how much they look like you."

"Have you not met our son? He's all you, Castle."

"Except his temper. That he gets from his Momma." She wants to say something, deny it, but honestly she can't. So she nudges him instead, giving a playful glare as she heads back to the kitchen. There's a dinner to finish and a family to feed. All in all, it hasn't been a bad day. It's been pretty good, tiring and wonderful.

Just the way she likes it.

**a/n: I'm going to go reply to reviews now. Hope you liked it.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Nope.  
**

**A/N: More Cub. I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm hoping all goes well, only downside is it being full-time and writing will become a weekend only kinda thing.  
**

She craves this time alone, the soft breathing of her baby. Blue eyes staring up at her as the little one nurses, nose pressing to her breast, soft hungry sounds escaping her lungs. A sigh. A gulp. The adorable unladylike slurp and gurgle. Today is different. A little painful. A bit too much but she doesn't stop her, letting Charlotte stay latched because it's bad enough that she's been trying to slowly wean - Ella getting a bottle while her sister nurses and vice verse.

But right now, staring down into those bright blues filled with trust and love and pure innocence, Kate almost tears up. Just knowing this won't last forever. Her babies won't stay little and she's going to have to deal with their hearts getting broken, dreams dashed, feelings hurt. So many evils in the world to subject them to but right now, she's alone with her precious daughter.

The baby nuzzling closer, a little hand coming up to rest between her breasts - a furrow of Charlie's brow as she clenches her fingers, rubbing right against the scar. The mark that changed so many things. Kate bites her lip, watching as Cash frowns, a sigh exhaling through her nose. Flaring nostrils in a way that has Kate stifling a laugh - it's almost as if she's angry.

"I know it feels different. You don't need to frown about it." But her voice cracks on the last of the sentence. Charlie's fingers stroking against her battered skin is just a bit much to handle and then her daughter is smiling, resting her chubby palm over it with a soft coo. A word that Kate will never understand but just as beautiful and touching as the most eloquent of phrases.

She's almost five months old, there's no way she can even grasp what caused such a mark but it still has Kate tearing up, carding her fingers through her daughter's soft hair, thumb sliding over her ear affectionately as she feeds.

"S'okay pretty girl. S'okay." And she's not sure whom she's reassuring. The baby girl that doesn't even understand what's happening in this very moment or herself.

She stops talking, communicating with touch, a touch to her cheek, a stroke over her brow, a tickle to her bare feet. Her daughter's fingers never leave the space between her breasts, the curl of her hand over the scar lingers until Charlotte pulls back from her chest with a grin and sleepy eyes. Still toothless, unlike her sister. Ella has one top tooth but little Cash is still cutting hers.

"There's my happy Cash." It takes a moment but Kate waits for it, knows it's coming when the baby in her arms scrunches her nose. A yawn pouring through her lips. "It's nap time for all little babies, sweetheart."

Two kids down, one to go and honestly, she feels pretty great about it. This is the first time she's been alone with all three kids for more than an hour at a time and so far everyone is still alive, no one injured, all fed, and almost all of them napping. And when she settles Charlie into her crib, pulling a soft blanket up to cover her, the blue and white polka dots of her onesie disappearing.

It's already being kicked off when Kate leaves the nursery, her happy tired cooing a lullaby that will eventually put her to sleep. Three kids down. And it only took an hour. That's not too shabby. Especially given her current situation and the cramping in her abdomen, the overall bad mood she's been in since she woke, embarrassed and more than a little glad that Castle had already left.

It doesn't matter that he's already seen all of her stuff, and childbirth more than once. It's still gross to wake to blood staining her pajamas and the sheets. And it's worse since she hadn't expected it. The cramps hitting suddenly, the overall fatigue blending in with her exhaustion of three babies. The signs overlooked, her first period since she's had the girls and now she's a little miserable.

Wanting a nap and determined to get one in while the kids are sleeping, she pokes her head in to check on Cub. Heart skipping when she doesn't see him, her body aching when she steps in - calling his name. Nothing. She checks under the bed but there's only a few blocks and a train. Not a one year old with an infectious smile.

"Child, I swear you act like your father." She's muttering, not even caring that he's not around to listen as she opens the closet. Nothing. Toys, shoes, clothes. But no Weston. She's starting to panic, to feel it rising in her chest. Becoming a bubble of anxiety.

And then she hears the giggle, a splash, and she's dashing from the room to the bathroom. The baby gate knocked down when she reaches the door, a rambunctious and very awake toddler with his hands in the toilet bowl and marks all over his face, down his arms. An uncapped sharpie by his feet. And she doesn't even want to know where he got it.

"Weston Montgomery Castle, what are you doing?"

"Momma!" The smile on his face melts her just a little, his arms flying up, water splattering as he reaches for her. Black scribbles around his eyes and nose. "Momma! Momma!"

"Oh no, don't even look cute right now, mister. You are in trouble."

"Boo. Boo."

"I don't think Boomer had anything to do with this, baby." It's adorable really, maddening, but adorable. She grabs the marker from the floor, puts it up in the medicine cabinet before turning back to the dripping boy. "Bath time, Cub."

He doesn't fight her, lifting his arms when she pulls the shirt over his head and jumping up and down when she unfastens his diaper. He loves baths. Her little fish. She holds him while the tub fills to an acceptable level, forgoing the bubbles because she doesn't want to reward him for being a little troublemaker. As soon as she plops him down, he splashes with a squeal.

"Shhh, sissies are sleeping, we have to be quiet." She doesn't mind his excitement, doesn't care that he gets the front of her shirt soaked when she gently scrubs the marks from his skin. The scent of soap filling the air. "I'm going to kill your father for leaving that marker in your room. I know it was him."

"Mar, mar."

"Marker. Very good, Wes but you're still in trouble." And then he's grinning at her, eyes scrunching as he shows his teeth. "Charmer."

Her phone is ringing when she reaches for the shampoo, buzzing in her pocket and she swipes her hands on a towel, reaching around to grab it. Silence the intrusion. She rolls her eyes affectionately at the picture on the screen, her writer making silly faces at their kids.

"Hey,"

"Hey, meetings over, I'll be home soon. Need anything while I'm out?" She cradles the phone between her ear and shoulder, spiking Cub's bubble filled hair into a mohawk.

"Yeah, can you get some more baby shampoo - your son found a marker -"

"Uh oh."

"Mhm, we'll talk about it later. Maybe more chicken nuggets - the dinosaur ones, shampoo, oh and tampons. I'm out." She's not embarrassed to ask but he makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat and she almost laughs. "They're only an aisle over, Castle, it's not a big deal. Maybe pick up some Subway?"

"Okay, I'll be home soon."

"Love you, Castle." She can't hide the taunt in her tone, doesn't even try as he grumbles. "Oh, don't forget the cookies."

"Learned my lesson last time."

* * *

She's pressing a hand to her abdomen, leaning forward just a little to relieve the pressure as she finishes off her second cookie. Wes sitting in the chair across from her, sighing loudly, dramatically when he licks the last of the chocolate from his fingers with Boomer waiting patiently at his feet. A little bit of Martha bleeding into their son's personality and she has to bite her lip to keep from smiling as Castle finally unloads the bags on the kitchen counter.

"Okay, so we got dinosaurs for Cub, shampoo for our sometimes smelly kids," She waits for it, the face he makes when he pulls the tampons from the bag. The cringe as he sets it down. "and womanly things."

"Tampons. Castle, they're just tampons. They don't even bite. Didn't you buy this kind of stuff for Alexis, other women?" The last one is supposed to be a playful dig but it comes out a little sharper than she intends. And it's met with a stare, stoney and confused.

"She was an independent child, just asked for the money and did it herself." He doesn't further it by acknowledging the 'other women' part. She actually loves him a little bit more for it. Not that she's unaware he's been with other women, just that she doesn't care to hear about it. Especially not when she's moody and in pain. "And you've always bought them yourself, so not really."

"Mm."

"I got you something."

"Oh yeah?" She quirks an eyebrow, but he shakes his head. Telling her silently that he isn't about to share what it is - not yet. She really doesn't want to play games but she doesn't want to be too grumpy with him. A struggle her hormones are trying to win. "What is it?"

He doesn't say anything, flashing her a smile, and quickly disappearing into their bedroom. She doesn't follow, won't leave Wes by himself for any amount of time at all. He's too much of a monkey, climbing on everything, getting into things he knows he shouldn't. So she waits on the couch, impatiently tapping her toes against the cushion and pressing her fingers into her stomach with each cramp.

It's more than five minutes before he comes out, grabbing Wes from the daredevil move he's about to pull, standing with his arms spread about to jump from the chair. This time, he gestures for her to follow, so she does, trailing along behind with Wes smiling at her and waving over his father's shoulder. She's not even mad about the marker anymore, or the one black mark next to his nose that wouldn't come off.

And when she stumbles over one of his toys in the middle of the bedroom, she doesn't even grumble. It's the sound coming from the bathroom, the fact that she already knows before she steps onto the cool tile.

"Castle," He cuts her off by gesturing to the steam coming from the shower.

"A hot shower for the lady. You always take one to help with cramps so, you enjoy and I'll keep an eye on the Cub and the girls if they wake."

"You sure?" She's already unbuttoning her pants, excited for the heat seeping into her skin, the ease of her muscles. "I'll be quick, okay?"

"Take your time." She thanks him with a kiss to his jaw, his stubble scratching at her lips. It's coming back. She's going to have to be faster next time - stop him from shaving it all off.

And then he's backing out, giving her a once over and a wink before leaving her alone. He really is sweet. A little clueless sometimes but incredibly thoughtful when it matters. When she's in, water running over her skin, the warmth doing wonders, she lets her thoughts run free. Everything from her next grocery trip to how much she wishes her husband could've joined her in the shower, just to share the same space for a little while.

* * *

It isn't until she's out, her hair piled on top of her head in a wet tangled mess and one of Castle's shirts covering her, that she gives in and finds herself lying down on their bed. Curling into a ball and closing her eyes on a sharp cramp. She hasn't missed this. The feeling of her uterus trying to kill itself. She hears him come in, soft steps and the very light dip of the mattress.

"Momma." She doesn't open her eyes, not even when he pats her cheek. "Momma ok Momma?"

"I'm fine, Cub."

"Open your eyes, Kate, I think your son has a surprise." She does, just as he joins them on the bed with a wide awake Ella in his arms. But that isn't what has her grinning, thanking everyone and everything that she met Castle, that he was an ass that couldn't take 'no' for an answer.

Her eyes catch on the object wrapped in Cub's little hand, her mouth watering as soon as she sees what it is. When her brain makes the immediate connection with her stomach.

"You got me chocolate?"

"You asked for...I figured you'd want chocolate too, thought it was a safe bet."

"Thank you. You really are kind of perfect sometimes." She's taking it when Wes offers, his hand still clinging just a bit as she cuddles closer to him, her mouth at his knee, pressing a kiss there.

"Sometimes?"

"Let's not push it, Castle." He passes Ella over when she reaches, the candy bar forgotten for the moment. As her daughter smiles at her, she rolls to her back, sitting the girl on her stomach and holding onto her hands to steady her. "Where's Charlotte?"

"Still sleeping."

"Will you bring her anyway? We can lay her between us. Extra body heat helps."

"You've had three kids with no medication, Kate, honestly how bad can cramps be?" And that's when she stops staring at the bubbly little girl happily gurgling at her. Raising both eyebrows, eyes cutting over to him, sharp and deadly. "I just...I meant that - you're a champ."

"Mhm. You should walk away from that one, go get Cash."

He does. Leaving her alone with two munchkins for a few minutes. Wes tickling his sister and yelling when Ella's fingers pull at his hair. His lip quivering until Kate kissed his cheeks, cuddling him into her side. A tired boy that played instead of napped. He's going to be a bear later, she knows it. He'll be a growling cranky mess but she doesn't care right now.

She just wants to lie in bed with her kids. And their father. Because she knows he'll stay. And he does. As soon as Charlotte is placed between them on the pillow, her hands curled into fists by her head, he crawls in too. Resting his head next to their sleeping baby, his mouth kissing her fingers and Kate feels her heart overflow. She'll never get used to him.

"Did you guys have fun today?"

"Wasn't so bad until Weston decided to become an artist with a sharpie."

"That might be my fault."

"I assumed." She's smirking despite wanting to maintain a straight face. She can't be mad and that's something she hates. Both Castle boys have her wrapped around their fingers. And almost as if it's a reminder, Boomer jumps up on the bed too, making a circle by her feet before plopping down gracelessly. All three of her Castle boys.

"Tired?"

"No." She's not. Not anymore. Not after the shower and the two kids pawing at each other between them. Their wild one smacking her hand down against her brother's leg. "No fighting in bed."

Two sets of eyes turn towards her. Only Wes looks dejected, Ella just opens her mouth and shoves her fist into it, drooling around her fingers, down her yellow dress.

"Momma."

"I know, baby. Sissy is silly." Kate closes her eyes on a cramp, startling with a violent jerk when something hot settles low on her stomach. Eyes flying open to stare down at Castle's fingers, the relief instant and welcome. He's hesitant though, almost as if he's not sure it's okay. It is. It's more than okay.

"I know you don't really like being touched right now but -"

"Feels good." She doesn't mind his touch. "You planning on doing it all night?"

A dumb question on her part. Because she knows the answer. And when they're alone, with the kids in bed after a day of cuddling in Momma and Daddy's bed - he does. His hand on her stomach, her back to his chest, his fingers digging in to massage every few minutes. Yeah, he's kind of perfect sometimes. Clueless, childish, brilliant, lovable, and perfect.

**a/n: Next up is their very first wedding anniversary. :D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Nada.  
**

**A/N: This chapter is really just fun. Run away if you don't like fun but after the news I got a couple days ago...I needed fun. Also, this was typed out once before and then my computer got wiped so I had to start over and I know I didn't fit in everything that was in the original because this one isn't quite as long but I hope you enjoy it anyway.  
**

Excitement. Fear. More excitement. A confusing myriad of emotions and Kate knows that the man next to her is probably feeling the same. This is their first night away. Just them. No kids, no dog. Nothing to keep them from enjoying some alone time and yet she already misses the interruptions, the way their son yells when Ella pulls his hair and the giggles from Charlotte as she watches her siblings battle.

It's something she feels as soon as they get to the room. Their dinner out almost ruined by her constant need to check in with the kids and his incessant complaining over their food. Castle complains. He does and she really hates it. But she understands because he was just as worried and that's his way of showing it but he knows even now - as does she - that their kids are in very capable hands.

One year. She's been married to this man for one whole year and she's half tipsy, a little frustrated, and a_ lot _horny by the time he tosses his jacket over the chair. He's off to the bathroom before she ever flicks on the lamp next to the bed. A suite. He booked them a large honeymoon suite. And it's their first anniversary.

The champagne already chilling in a bucket and strawberries waiting. He really did plan ahead and something about that makes her forget the bad food at the restaurant, the fact that her stomach is still growling. The fruit calling to her, begging her to take a bite. She kicks off her heels, giggling just a little when one almost hits her husband in the leg as he exits the bathroom.

The mood shifting, becoming something lighter, fun. And she drops her phone to the nightstand, vowing to leave it alone for the rest of their stay. Their children will be okay for the next twenty-four hours. One full day to themselves. Okay, maybe she'll check in a few times but not again until morning. This night - she'll give it to Castle. He deserves her full attention.

Well, maybe not her _undivided _attention because those strawberries are quite the competitor and her mouth is already watering for just a taste. But first, she needs to do something. And it starts with a soft smile, her legs leading her over to her husband, her palms reaching to rest solidly against his chest as she closes the distance.

He doesn't hesitate and she marvels over their ability to stay in sync. His arms wrapping around as her fingers toy with the buttons on his shirt. It's been crazy. Perfect. Everything she could have imagined and more - being with him, marrying him, having kids. The last year of their life together was beyond insane and she finds herself smiling so wide that her cheeks start to ache. This man.

His eyes soft and loving, hands smoothing over the zipper of her dress. This is how it's supposed to be. Not the uncomfortableness of their dinner together, the worry over their kids, the frustration with each other. This. The soft touch, the easy dip of his head, the satin of his mouth closing over hers.

She lets him pull the zipper, nipping at his lips, a hushed whisper of her name greeting her ears. His voice nothing more than a shiver inducing sigh. She still hasn't said it. So in a quick breath she remedies that, lets it slip out easily, honestly.

"I'm sorry about dinner." She can feel his surprise, the puff of air that leaves his lungs to cool against her kiss moistened lips. The tilt of his mouth, the spark lighting in his eyes. Those endless blue pools she can drown in so easily. "I know they're okay, I do, it's just -"

"You don't have to apologize for being a mother." It still overwhelms her - at the oddest of times - the fact that she's more than just Kate, more than a motherless daughter, more than a cop. And it's only when he brings his hands to her shoulders, collecting the fabric of her sleeves and tugging them gently down her arms that the playful light brightens in his gaze. "Besides, I might've been texting Alexis the whole time."

"Then I guess we're both to blame."

"Seems so, but I'm sure we can find some way to distract ourselves now that we're alone." A smirk teases at his mouth until she smothers it, lips open and seeking as she pulls her arms from the dress, letting it pool at her hips. He's the one to ease it down, to rid her of the red garment, his mouth still attached to hers, stealing kisses and gladly taking the ones she gives freely.

The soft bite to her bottom lip has her moaning, wanting, needing him. But he pulls back, lets his eyes drop and she knows he's admiring. He does this. Still does this. And she still lets him. Taking the time to focus on his half untucked shirt, the buttons that she's been fumbling with. Their eyes catch when she pushes it off his shoulders, lets it join her dress on the floor. Fingers drifting to his slacks, the snap and zipper no match for her dexterity.

And in a quick tug of her hands, another piece falls. The game changing as she steps into him, wrapping her arms around him, pressing close, burying her nose in his neck, inhaling. His scent washing over her, through her.

"Dance with me." She hopes he hears, her words mumbled into him, muffled by his skin. "Like we did at our wedding."

"Kate, I still have my shoes on."

"So do I." She feels his laugh rumble from his chest, her lips breaking into a smile against his neck.

"Yeah, well you wearing lingerie and heels is hot, me standing here in my underwear and shoes, not so much."

"I don't know, Castle, I think you look adorable." His fingers dig into her side, pinching at her skin, making her yelp and sink her teeth into his neck. Her lips caressing the mark left by her playful assault.

He doesn't agree, if the awkward shuffling is anything to go. She eases up, lets him shimmy out of the pants trapped at his ankles, the shoes keeping them in place and she only bites her lip when he takes off the socks as well. This is the goofy man that put a ring on her finger and labeled her as taken. And she's the one who gets to spend her life laughing at him when he almost trips mid bounce of pulling a sock off his foot.

She takes the moment, steps out of her heels, sighing at the difference in height when he pulls her back in. Hand trailing over her spine, snagging on the snap of her bra with each pass. But she's content. And her cheek lands against his shoulder, her fingers wrapping around his free ones and taking them hostage. Pulling their clasped hands into their bodies, laying them to rest over the beat of his heart.

She's being sappy. Remembering their wedding, their dance, the way their adorable son fell asleep in their arms while they swayed gently. Just like they are now. And it's okay that she's doing this - being a sap - because it's their very first wedding anniversary. That's a pretty big deal.

They have all night to themselves and Kate is more than aware of her body reacting to his, to the slide of his palm up her back and the lips pressing against her temple but she's in no hurry. They don't have to rush, for once, and that's really nice. It isn't a quickie in the shower or a nap time rendezvous. And when she feels his kiss, the words warm and soft against her skin, she finds herself hoping time will still.

"We should dance more."

"I agree." It feels good. To be like this. Calm and relaxed.

"Especially in our underwear, that should be part of the rules." And she's rolling her eyes, pressing a warm kiss to his shoulder. "I mean, dance parties aren't really dance parties fully clothed."

"And what if the kids are around?"

"We'll make sure it's always in our bedroom, door locked. Maybe we'll even have music."

"Oh, now we're getting fancy." She sways with him, a gentle spin, kicking clothing out of the way as they go. His breath against her, sweeping down her cheek, voice in her ear.

"I love when you get playful." His words earn him another kiss, to his neck this time. Her teeth coming along for the ride, rolling his skin between, quick and hot. She's not so against the idea of private dance parties in their bedroom if she can do this, push her hips into his and listen to the growl. "I married a tease."

"You love it."

"I do. And the way you're a mother to our kids - don't even get me started." She chuckles against him, moving up to rest her lips over his jaw, sweeping along his scruff. The rough scrape of it as he pulls her tighter to him, the dip of his pinky into the lace underwear. "Kate,"

"I love when you wake up before me, the way you always steal a kiss thinking I won't notice because I'm asleep. But I do notice, I'm not asleep. No offense but you're not exactly graceful and sometimes you elbow me when you're trying to get closer."

"Sorry."

"S'okay. Besides, I'm used to our three little Castles' knees and elbows. I can take it from their father too." She barely gets the last few words out before he's leaning in. His lips pushing against hers, gentle and warm. Inviting, tempting, tasting. She gives in, gets lost. No longer swaying, too busy wrapping her arms around his neck.

It's a whisper of 'Happy Anniversary' from her that pushes them both towards the bed. Forgetting the champagne and the strawberries. Content to just have each other, be in the moment before they have to go home to their family.

* * *

It's late, or rather early, when something cool pulls her out from slumber. It trails over her arm, tickling her skin, making her squirm and swat at it, brow furrowing when a chuckle follows. She wants to sleep. Her brain is still fuzzy, fighting with her body, trying to form something akin to words and finally she settles on the only reason she's ever pulled from sleep - well the only reason that doesn't come by way of a ringing phone.

"Mm, S'Ella or Charlie up?"

"They aren't here. Anniversary. Just us." That's what has her finally opening her eyes, along with the press of something against her lips. She lets them part the moment her eyes lock with his in the dark, the burst of flavor washing over her tongue as she bites into the fruit he's offering. She forgot how hungry she was. "Your stomach was growling. Woke me up."

She's not embarrassed. It doesn't really phase her at all, she just takes another bite, prying the strawberry from his hand. He's already reaching for another and before he can even think of feeding her, she plucks it away from him. Sitting up, not caring to catch the sheet as it falls. She rubs her eyes with one hand, wiping away the last of her exhaustion - saying goodbye to the best sleep she's had in months.

He reaches over her, turning on the lamp and dimming it down to the lowest setting. Just a soft glow that isn't going to hurt their eyes and she gives him a smile, popping the last of the fruit in her mouth. Chewing slowly, savoring it.

"Champagne? Might not be as cold." She nods anyway, not caring if it's warm. Just wanting something.

She leans over, grabbing another strawberry from the plate resting on his thighs. Watching him pour two glasses as she eats quietly. He passes her a glass, fingers brushing over hers and it's still the small things she takes comfort in. These little moments. And after a long sip, she scoots closer, bumping his shoulder with her own.

"I think this is just what we needed. A night for us. No work, no kids, no Boomer begging for attention."

"And we can sleep."

"There's that too. But someone woke me up."

"Blame your stomach. It was starting to protest rather loudly." The teasing in his tone doesn't go unnoticed. She nudges him, swallowing another bite and then catches his gaze.

"I miss them."

"So do I." It's crazy to think that they can miss their three crazies and a silly dog when they haven't even been gone for a full twelve hours. "Especially right now, because this is usually when Charlie and Ella decide to wake and play for an hour."

"I'm taking some time off of work, cutting back."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I want to be here. With you and with my family. I've been thinking about it for awhile but I just need to do this. You need some time to write - I know you're behind." He doesn't deny it, just drops his head a little and picks at the fruit he's holding. "So I can take care of the little ones and you can write. Maybe we could take them to the zoo, just go out and do family things."

"I really like the sound of this."

"Me too." She does. She loves it. And she's smiling when she takes a bite of another strawberry, the juice dripping over her lips, tongue darting out to chase it but she's too slow, beaten by the mouth of her writer. Her partner. The hands that tug the sheet out of the way, her laugh bubbling between them when his stubble scrapes over her neck.

Becoming a sigh when he travels lower.

* * *

"Are you honestly telling me no?"

"Yes."

"You're gonna stand there, in a towel and argue with me over this?" Oh. She forgot she's only in a towel but yes. Yes she's going to argue. Because she doesn't want him to do it.

"Okay, fine. Maybe if you just do the sides a little, ya know, like a trim and -"

"Maybe if you're so picky then you should just do it for me." He's not serious. She knows he isn't but before he can even protest, she's grabbing the razor from his hand. It's not a bad idea.

"Sit down."

"I was kidding."

"I'm not. Sit." She points at the closed lid of the toilet, eying him with her arms hanging limply at her sides, an eyebrow raising in challenge. He doesn't take it. He stares for a few minutes longer as if he's trying to understand what's actually happening and then he's just shaking his head, giving in and sitting, bunching the towel in his hand to make sure it doesn't slip.

Not that she'll mind if it does.

"I'm trusting you not to cut me." She smiles a little, moving to straddle his knees. Hearing the curse he lets out as her towel parts. She's careful with him, easy when she rubs the shaving cream along his jaw, stealing a quick kiss.

"Tilt your head back." She's never done this. She's not about to tell him that but she hasn't. It can't be that difficult. Not when she's only shaving off certain patches. Underneath his chin for example.

That's where she presses the blade, strokes upward in a smooth line. Reaching over to the sink to rinse. Another slow swipe and she hears him let out a sigh - relief is all she hears in it and she almost laughs. His fingers dig into her hips, holding her in place, and again she drags the sharp edge over his skin, ridding him of the whiskers that she doesn't care for.

"This is surprisingly sexy."

"Mm." She's too busy concentrating on not pressing too hard, she doesn't want to make him bleed.

"After you finish shaving me, can I -"

"Castle, be really careful what you say because I _do _have a razor against your skin and one wrong word could make my fingers _slip_." She wouldn't. But the teasing threat still holds, has him shutting up.

Two more swipes and she grabs his ears, dragging his head down until she can slide the blade over his cheek. Providing a clean edge to out of control scruff taking over her husband's face. She leaves the rest of it. Only wanting to contain and not leave him bare faced. Not when she's in love with the burn of it against her skin. The way it scratches against her thighs, over her breasts. No, she doesn't want it gone.

Another quick stroke and she's done. Leaving the underside of his chin clean and straight lines over his jaw. Making him look more put together and less like a wild man. She tosses the razor in the sink, not caring. Grabs her towel and pulls it free, using it to wipe his face. She gives him a smile, smacking her lips against his, proud of herself for not cutting him.

"You can trim the rest when we get home. But no shaving it off."

"Yes ma'am. Just find it interesting that you're so invested in my facial hair."

"I like the way it looks." She can feel her body flush, knows he doesn't believe with the way he smirks. "And maybe I like the way it feels when you kiss me, the way it slides across my skin."

"If you plan on wearing clothes today, you cannot say things like that while naked and in my lap." She leans into him, a smirk of her own in place when she bumps her nose against his.

"I had no plans of getting dressed." He nips at her mouth, an unsatisfied groan leaving his lungs when she pulls away. "But we do have to go home sometime today and we have to be fully clothed for that. I want to snuggle our kids."

"Sex first, jacuzzi tub and then maybe pick up some pizza on the way home and we can spend the rest of the day in a blanket fort with our crazy babies and a rambunctious dog."

"Sounds perfect."

**a/n: An entire chapter with no kids. That was actually pretty amusing to write.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Nope.  
**

**A/N: For my spoiler whore sisters. ;)  
**

Her heart pounds, slamming against her ribs in a rhythm too fast, too hard and she can't get it to calm. Her knees pressing to the floor. The warmth seeping through her fingers, wet and red. Vibrant. A source of life. Blood. Oh god. This isn't supposed to happen. She doesn't dwell on it. The fact that he was supposed to be right behind her, that he shouldn't have been in any danger at all. That there shouldn't have been any way for someone to do this. She can't. Because she needs to _think_.

The back of her hand scrapes hard over glass, the shards biting into her skin as she tries to focus. Listening for the sound of sirens. Waiting. The plea that's formed into a mantra spilling from her lips over and over since she rushed into the room at the sound of glass shattering and something hitting the floor. The sight of him lying there, blood already pooling - her heart had stopped. Completely ceased to function and her legs felt heavy and awkward, fumbling as she slid down next to him.

She ignores everyone. Continuing to treat it like they're the only two in the room, lips pushing against his cheek, words harsh from her tongue. Not hearing the shouts of her boys or the wails of the ambulance.

"Castle, c'mon. Castle wake up." He's not moving, still breathing though and she takes it as a good sign. Tries to calm herself enough to keep the tears at bay as she presses hard against the back of his skull. It's bleeding. It won't stop and he _won't _listen to her. "Damn it, Rick, get up! Come _on_."

Nothing. Not a twitch.

"You're gonna be fine, okay? But you need to wake up. Castle, our kids -" She's choking, tossing someone off with an angry shrug when they grab her arm. She doesn't look, doesn't care. He's the only thing that's important. But they're pulling her back, arm circling her waist when she struggles and she finally, finally tears her eyes away long enough to see that's Espo, to know that he wouldn't do this unless he has a reason. She stops fighting, dropping limp as he props her against the wall.

"Javi,"

"They needed you to move, you weren't listening." She didn't hear. She didn't even notice. Her thoughts jumbled, the sound rushing in her ears, the ache in her chest and she's back to watching him, watching helplessly. Rubbing her palm against her jeans, not caring about ruining them with blood. _His blood._ "He'll be fine."

It isn't reassuring. The words mean nothing and she nods blankly, trying to peek around the medics and having no luck. Nothing. She can't see what they're doing but she sees the jolt of his fingers, her heart already racing, feet carrying her closer when he groans.

She's grabbing his hand before they can stop her, establishing with one look to a paramedic that she's not letting go. And she doesn't, not until she knows he's safe.

He mentions the kids in the ambulance. Worrying over them and she shushes him, tells him their kids are fine. He mentions them again when he's getting stitched up, muttering 'ow' when she pinches his hand and tells him they're still fine. At home with their Grams and their sister. She knows he isn't questioning her, just anxious.

He's not too out of it. He protests the fuss that's being made over his head injury. Not wanting to stay for tests that are necessary and she's the one to tell him to just shut up and listen to the doctor. And she calls to check in at home when his "brain is being scanned by alien technology" - not her words. The whole time, she hides it. How badly she's upset, how her body is clinging to some shred of control. Legs, arms, wanting to shake and her forcing them not to.

Standing straight and joking with him when she wants to scream. But as soon as she's out of his sight, the tears come. Her phone call becoming twenty minutes in the bathroom collecting herself and only five minutes talking, assuring everyone at home that so far he's okay.

She knows he can tell she's been crying when she walks back into the exam room because he doesn't even smile, just pulls her closer by wrapping his fingers around her wrist. Gesturing to the doctor that's outside the door.

"I think that guy is a little loopy." There's no way the physician is the loopy one. Not when she's watching her writer stare at her, gaze unfocused and pupils dilated. But she'll pretend she believes him when he babbles about the _kooky_ doctor. "He poked me. It hurt."

"Maybe that's because you had to have stitches, Castle."

"Meh. Did you call the kids?"

"Directly, no. I don't think Wes has really grasped the concept of phones yet and Charlie can call people just fine but she doesn't -"

"Funny. You knew what I meant, Kate." She did. She does. But she's fighting with herself, making her thoughts stay in the now because she can't go back. She cannot think of him lying there, bleeding and not responding. It stumbles across her face, the pinch of her brow and the tears building. The knot tangling in her throat when he steps closer and grabs her elbow. "Hey,"

"Castle," And that's all it takes, just his name on a pained whisper and she's crashing into him, pulling him in tight, gripping at him, fingers digging in and he's warm. Warm and alive. Concussed and stitched but _alive_.

"Let's go home. I want to go home, we've been here too long."

She couldn't agree more.

"As soon as they say you're okay."

"I'm fine. A little battered and maybe we should get some ice cream on the way home but I'm fine." And for the first time, she offers him a grin. Just a small one. Secret and theirs alone.

* * *

She almost asked to see the doctor's license to practice. When the results came back and she was informed that Castle had a normal, healthy brain - yeah, she'd been skeptical. But also relieved and the crushing weight from her chest had dissipated. Become nothing as she hugged him, not wanting to let go.

She still doesn't want to, but she's sharing. Has been for hours now. Martha and Alexis fussing over him all through dinner until finally they'd retreated, leaving her alone with him and the babies after asking more than twice if she'd be okay. She doesn't really understand that, she's not the one concussed...this time.

And now she's still here, pressing against him in the floor amongst a pile of pillows, beneath a curtain of blankets. Little knees and elbows, toys and a dog that's not so sure about the fort she's built. She doesn't blame the dalmatian. It's probably not the sturdiest but there's no need to eye it so harshly. All of her attention has been on Castle.

He's the reason she has this. A family. The curious little boy between them in their blanket fort, the twin girls with his eyes and her smile. The silly slobbering dog licking Ella's head. She doesn't know what she would do if anything changed. If he wasn't - no she doesn't even want to let her brain wander to such a dark place. He's here. He's home and he's lifting Charlie, kissing her cheeks with loud exaggerated smacks, pulling giggles from their daughter. He's everything, their kids are everything. She can't lose her family.

And her chest aches, throbbing with just the brief venture her mind takes, reminding her of those long minutes he'd been unresponsive. But then she sees it, just out of the corner of her eye - Wes patting his sister's leg. Something soft and loving, like he wants her to know some secret that he just can't voice. Ella doesn't understand, slapping at his fingers with a frown and yell. This is enough.

It will always be enough to bring her back, to remind her how lucky she is to have this, that he waited, that she finally took the leap. So she'll be here with them. Press her body to his with a mess of babies crawling over them, her nose pushing into his cheek, lips dancing over his skin. Whispering words their children don't understand because she almost lost him. She could have lost him. For good. Forever.

"Thank you." It's the one phrase that catches between them, her teeth nipping at his bottom lip. His mouth opening, questioning, and she doesn't have an answer. Not really. But she'll try. So she pulls back, cupping his jaw and gives a fleeting glance to the baby snuggling between them. Charlie's blue eyes closing, opening again as she tries to fight. "For being okay, for giving me more. For our family."

He's the one to lift, bring their mouths together and she hums softly, a brief kiss before Wes is fussing against her leg. Breaking them up and demanding attention as Ella tugs on his hair. His 'owie, owie' becoming whimpers when she lets go, a startled look on her face.

"Oh Ella, no, we don't pull hair." But she does. She's an expert hair puller and before she can grab another handful, Kate reaches for her, resting her next to her sister. Both babies smiling at the sight of each other, hands patting faces and gripping ears with fumbling fingers. Their bond is getting stronger, the way they want to be near each other, the fact that they cry at nap time unless they're in the same bed.

Kate's hand drifts, stroking the dark tuft of hair covering Charlotte's head, fingers sliding through soothingly as the little one burrows further into her father's chest. Charlie is their snuggle bug, their sweet mellow baby. And Ella is, well, she's Ella and trying to chew on her sister's arm. Curious and vibrant. A giggling mess when Kate tickles her side.

"No eating sissy, Ella. It's not nice."

Her mostly toothless blue eyed daughter grins, nose scrunching, drooling over the soft lilac sleeve of Charlie's pajamas as Wes crawls over Kate's hip. Knees digging into her and hands pinching her skin.

"Hey Cub, easy little guy. Remember Daddy's hurt."

"Daddy owie?" She nods, heart melting when she catches the way Wes furrows his brow, lips pouting. "Owie."

"I'm okay, Cub. Good as new, Momma just worries." She gives him a look. Unimpressed with his tactic but he doesn't relent. Just clings tighter to the babies squirming over him and flashes their son a smile.

It doesn't quite meet his eyes and she knows that he's in pain. Probably suffering from an intense pounding and pressure in his head but he doesn't retreat from the noisy three and the dog thumping his tail heavily against the floor. Castle stays, his shoulder pressed to hers. Their bodies aligned next to each other, the pillows doing little to ease the discomfort of being on the floor.

"Castle we need to get them in bed or we're going to have three very grumpy babies."

"Just a little longer." And she can't tell him no. She can't be stern. Not after today so she'll let him have his way. Say nothing as he closes his eyes, breathing in the scent of baby shampoo in silence.

But it doesn't last long before Ella is squealing, smacking her hands against his shirt, and rolling her way into Charlie's side. Making her sister fuss and flail. Arms and legs kicking and both adults know to let them hash it out. They do this. Love, argue in a mess of grunts and yells. Talking in a language no one understands. They battle it out for Castle's chest until Charlie finally pushes herself up, burrowing into his neck and emitting a low growl that has him chuckling, rubbing his hand over her back as Kate does the same with a feisty little Ella.

"Getting a little frustrated, Cash?" Their mellow girl lifts her head at the sound of his voice, cheek connecting with his mouth when she drops back down. "You know, Kate, the growling clearly does not come from my side of the family."

"Really, Castle? I seem to recall several times you've _growled _at me." It's the suggestive eyebrow raise, the drop of her voice to something a little more smokey that has his eyes widening. Not the fact that their son has crawled over his legs, settling his weight on Castle's knee but Wes misunderstands.

"Owie, Daddy owie?"

"No buddy, you're okay. You didn't hurt me. C'mere, there's enough room for more hugs." And just like that, their son is smiling and climbing up, worming his way between Charlie and Castle's arm. Kate wants to tell him that he's going to end up hurting himself, bumping the stitches or something but she doesn't.

Instead she pushes a pillow up against his side as she pulls away. Content in the knowledge that if one of the babies rolls, there's a pillow to catch them and then she's pressing a kiss to Castle's forehead, pulling back after she lets it linger just a bit longer than necessary.

"I'll get you some water, you need to take something for that headache." He doesn't argue. And she knows that in another few minutes, she'll be able to slowly pry babies from him, one by one and get them into bed.

* * *

She's proud when she returns from taking Boomer for a very quick walk. Not even three minutes outside and she's actually proud because Castle's doing exactly what she told him to. Relaxing on their bed, keeping himself occupied. Though she's not nearly as impressed when the helicopter buzzes by her ear, too close to be an accident.

"Play with me." He's smirking and she knows that's a good thing but she can't do it anymore. She can't just play with his toys - her face scrunches at the thought, her mind no longer on plastic helicopters and atvs. She's not ashamed, just not okay.

And she knows that he knows it. When she pushes her pants down her legs, stepping out and not bothering to hide the fact that she's shaking, yeah, he knows. When she strips off the shirt and chooses not to replace it with a pajama top, he's wrapping a hand around her thigh, tugging her closer. She doesn't have to be strong here.

That's what has her dropping, folding herself into him when he whispers her name - the control falling forgotten to the mattress. Their kids are asleep. The dog is probably in the nursery and she's free to let it go. The first shake of her shoulders and he hugs her tighter, tells her that everything is okay. She burns with it - the fear and anger. Her last day. Her last day before she takes a few weeks off and this happens.

"What the hell were you doing?" The words are harsh and wavering, her voice betraying her. "With me. You're supposed to stay _with me._"

"M'sorry. I just - I saw something." He shrugs, his shoulder pressing into her cheek and she lets her nails bite into him. She could tell him he's an idiot. Tell him that he knows the rules and he knows that he's not supposed to wander off but that's the thing - he already knows and she doesn't have the energy to be angry, to tell him over and over.

Not when the knot in her throat becomes impossible to swallow, when the tears begin to leak out. So she doesn't say anything else for a long while, letting the silence do the healing. The sound of his heart thrumming strong and steady in his chest easing her worry. He presses his mouth to her head, her cheek, anywhere within his reach and doesn't say a word when she turns into it, mouth open and wanting. Taking.

"You scared me." Words caressed and carried by a sigh, her lips against his. "You really scared me. Castle, we have Ella, Charlie, Wes and hell, Boomer too and I can't do this wit-"

"Shh, you don't have to."

"I -"

"Let's get away, go to the Hamptons for awhile." His nose nudges against hers and she pushes into him, needing the closeness he's offering. The tip of her tongue poking out between her lips as she smudges them against his.

"We'll pack tomorrow. This first." He doesn't ask, already knowing exactly what she needs. The comfort. The proof. The reassurance that he's okay.

**a/n: And so begins, Kate's few weeks of vacation.  
**

**Follow me on twitter if you like Nellie_Rai  
I basically talk 24/7 about Stana, Castle, and music**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, for those who are unaware, I have no computer of my own and no idea when I'll be getting one again. That's the reason for the delays but I promise I'm always writing. I just use an old school notebook and pen now.**

Some days she missed the hustle of her city, the fast pace of her job but not on days like this one. When her kids rise early and keep her hopping, the normally peaceful Hamptons house becoming a mess of yelling and a touch of frustration. Everyone hungry and just a bit grumpy - not one of her kids enjoy mornings and without her coffee, she feels their pain.

But they settle quickly, when Castle's famous pancakes are done and Wes is shoving syrup covered fingers into his mouth, his skin already shimmering with the stickiness and the girls wolfing down baby food in colors that make her stomach churn. Bright green and orange - veggies they seem to enjoy.

All three kids are fed and clean by nine, dressed for the day and enjoying sibling time in the floor of the living room before a steaming mug appears in front of her face. Despite the lateness of it, she smiles and accepts, leaning in for a kiss when Castle dips to meet her. A soft good morning they hadn't managed to share yet due to Ella being an impatient little girl when she's hungry and Charlie being a grump until she's fully awake. He tastes of syrup and she lets herself linger, run her tongue over his lip, savoring the sweetness before he pulls away and moves to drop next to her on the cushion.

"We doing anything today?" It's a question punctuated by his arm snaking behind her, wrapping around and bringing her closer. She loves these mornings. Both of them watching as their dashing little boy in jean shorts and blue plaid pushes his ambulance up next to his police car, making 'vroom' sounds. Her legs bending over his lap until he's teasing the bare skin of her knee.

"I don't know Castle, I kinda think a lazy day sounds pretty good." She sips from the mug, the delicious hot coffee spilling over her tongue, making her sigh. "Besides, you need to write."

"I'll do it later."

"That's what you said yesterday and then you spent the entire day rescuing princess Charlotte with Weston, the brave sir knight."

"She was being held captive against her will." His explanation does nothing more than earn him a look, her lips twitching, almost a smirk.

"Yes, in the oh-so terrible dungeon that's actually just her crib. How horrendous."

"There was a dragon."

"I don't think Boomer makes a very good dragon when he just sleeps the whole time." The dog moves for very few things, food and attention. And when he wants to go outside and run around.

"That's because we sang him a lullaby and no dragon is immune to the powers of a good lullaby."

"Oh. I see."

Her eyes cut to the spotted member of their family, his head by their Cub's feet, his eyes on the two baby girls rolling around. He's a good protector though, she'll give him that much. He gives really good cuddles too. Just thinking about it makes her lean further into Castle's side and abandon the warm mug to the table. This is better. She lets her head drop against his shoulder, body relaxing into his.

"Thought you wanted me to go write?" The smirk in his tone earns him a quick pinch to his side. A yelp filling her ears and getting their kids' attention. Ella giggling and Charlie's eyebrow raising. Wes grinning before returning to his cars, not to be bothered by the antics of his parents.

"Charlie thinks Daddy is crazy, look at that face."

"Takes after her mother, that eyebrow thing - all you." It's true that their twins resemble her the most, the slope of their noses, the shape of their brow, the chin. It's all from her. But she forgets easily, gets lost in the blue of their eyes and only sees one person: Castle.

The warmth of the moment eases over them, lulling them. Settles into something light and airy as they watch Ella raise up on her hands and knees, eying the toys her big brother has in his hands. Her interest in her own set of keys and stuffed tiger completely demolished by the shiny things out of reach. Always wanting what she can't have - that's their Ella.

Kate doesn't move from her partner's side, doesn't get excited enough to move until she watches their daughter start to bounce, try to lunge herself forward and then she's squeezing his thigh, digging her fingers into him and pushing up from the couch.

"Castle," It takes him a minute to catch up, to mimic as soon as he realizes what's happening and they probably look like loons, standing in front of the couch, staring down at a baby in a pink sundress, Kate with her hands clasped together at her chin, excitement bleeding through her smile as he crowds at her back. "Look, I think she's -"

She trails off the second a look of pure determination furrows Ella's brow, eyes watching as her daughter looks down at her own hands and then back at her brother and his toys. That's all it takes. Just determination and the push of one little knee to propel forward. Castle's bursting, pride radiating, pushing into her, flooding both of them and it's contagious. So very contagious as they watch Ella clumsily slap at the floor, a smile on her face and giggles escaping once she realizes that she's actually going somewhere.

It's a bubble, a perfect moment that only bursts when she drops to her belly right in front of Wes and Castle curls a hand over Kate's hip. Both of them still just standing, staring, unsure if it really happened. But then it starts, the yelling from their boy as his sister swipes one of his police cruisers from his hand and starts to chew on it.

And it's obvious it makes him angry, lip pouting and eyes flashing but he doesn't retaliate, just pushes himself up from the floor and runs straight into Kate's leg, arms wrapping around, face buried against her knee.

"Hey little Cub, s'okay." She palms his back, rubs gently to soothe his broken heart. "We'll get your car back and then after lunch, you and I can go on a little adventure, just us."

Ella is still happily chewing away on the miniature black and white when Castle leans over her, lifts her gently from the floor. She doesn't cry when he pulls the car from her hand, just frowns at him and huffs out a sigh.

"We don't steal toys Ella Jo." He sounds only mildly serious, pride still leaking into his voice as he kisses her head and Kate has to force herself to look away, to not get caught up in the way he eases himself down to the floor, situates one girl on his lap while reaching for the other. Charlie grabbing for him, hands outstretched and top teeth showing.

His back will be hurting later, she knows it but she keeps her mouth shut. She'll let him enjoy this time, join him in the floor with Wes still clinging to her as they push cars around and Charlie chews on her elephant's foot. The purple little elephant that Castle just had to buy for her a few days ago, a shopping trip that ended up adding to the toy collection their kids already have.

Some would say their children are spoiled and she doesn't exactly disagree, but as she watches her husband wrap his arms around their twins, making up an elaborate tale of elephants and tigers as she pushes police cars and ambulances around with their son, she knows their kids will know love first and foremost. She almost laughs when Castle mentions that the tiger and elephant are best friends, almost points out all the flaws in his story but she doesn't. Because both girls are looking up at him, eyes wide and dancing, little hands wrapped around their stuffed toys.

And because Wes steals her attention, a happy giggle as he rams his car into the leg of the coffee table.

"Oh no! Better get your ambulance Cub, there might be people hurt." And she's the one to push the ambulance over as he circles the scene with police cars and she wonders just how many times he's done this with his father and how much the man has taught their young son.

* * *

The chicken nuggets are barely off the plate when Wes launches himself into Kate, climbing up her body and pointing towards the door. Wanting out. He wants to do something, remembers that she promised after lunch. Her brilliant boy.

"Go go go go Momma."

"Easy little man, we're going but we gotta say bye to Daddy first." Their son has inherited Castle's eagerness. His legs pushing against her, body leaning towards the door and if she doesn't want to drop him, she has to push against his back with the palm of her hand.

He's squirming, making it difficult until she shushes him with a kiss to his cheek and a whisper of his name. Something that's worked since he was a tiny squirming red faced infant.

"I'll man the fort, keep our girls entertained."

"I can take Booms with us, let him run around. C'mon Booms, let's go." The dog barely moves, just perks his ears up at the sound of his name. Eyes watching her for a second before he shuffles closer to Charlie and rests his head on his paws. "Or not."

"Leave him be, I'll take him out later."

"We'll be back soon, promise." She leans in to press her mouth to his. A soft smack that leaves them smiling at each other when she pulls back. Charlie fussing as she heads out the door with Wes on her hip. Neither wearing more than a shirt and shorts. No need for shoes, not for what she has in mind.

As soon as the door closes behind them, he's wiggling down, keeping a tight hold of her fingers. He's content to just trail along beside her, toddle his way through the grass until it turns into sand. He giggles, his short locks blowing in the wind as his feet mush into the sand. His toes digging in. She lets him hop, little jumps that have him stumbling and her catching him with just the hand wrapped in his.

And they walk. It's a simple adventure but she knows her little boy and she can tell by the way he smiles up at her that he's more than happy just walking along the beach for a little while.

"Thought we could use some time to ourselves, Wes."

He doesn't say anything, just looks out at the water as it crashes up onto the shore. Eyes searching for something - she doesn't know what but those murky depths are always curious, always inquiring. Castle tells her that those eyes - a match of her own - will be his death and she usually reminds him of the two beautiful little girls that will one day bring home boyfriends just to see the look on his face. The way his skin pales.

"What are you looking for little Cub? What's out there?"

"Momma."

"I'm out there?" He shakes his head, confused by her and she wonders how his brain works. The mind of a toddler closing in on his second birthday is probably an interesting place. "Want to play in the sand?"

"No."

"Okay, we can keep walking." He mumbles another 'no' as he tugs her further down the beach. It's his answer for almost everything. Ask him a question and he's going to answer with that one syllable word.

She lets him lead, goes where he wants and she can tell he's getting excited. His chest puffing with every breath as his legs scramble faster, his footprints tiny next to her own. Her heart swells, pride and love rolling through her veins as he bends down and picks something up, falling almost face first when he loses balance. Her quick reflexes save him from a mouthful of sand.

He looks back up at her, tiny fingers wrapped around something possessively and she sighs when he pulls away from her, sits down to eye the prize he's collected from the ground. She's suddenly really glad she opted not to dress in something nicer than old shorts. She drops next to him, holding out her hand, watching him as he eyes her carefully.

"Can I see?" He shakes his head, lips thinning in a sharp line and she offers a smile and tries again. "Please little Cub? I won't tell anyone."

He giggles at her, crawling into her lap and Kate has no idea what it is that he finds amusing but she laughs with him, sharing the secret and then he's pushing the object into her hand.

"Momma." She barely tears her gaze away from his, those eyes full of wonder as he hands it over. "See, see."

And it shouldn't choke her up, shouldn't make her eyes water but it does. A tiny little stick, more of a twig and he's so proud of himself for it, so excited about such a small thing. The joy on his face as he pats her cheek with the same hand he used to find his treasure has her pressing forward, kissing his head, his nose, making him giggle and push her away with warm fingers.

"Good job, Wes."

She loses track of time easily, watching him play with his little stick in the sand, drawing squiggles and she guides his hand to spell out his name. Him struggling to pull away the whole time and draw on his own. She finally gives in, lets him have his way for awhile, letting him get up and run around in circles, falling on his butt and doing it all over again...and again.

It's something Kate loves, watching him be so carefree, happy, childish. He's rambunctious, a wild little boy that finds it fun to run. And she jumps up before he can get too far and chases after him, tickling him as soon as she catches up, lifting him into her arms. He squeals, burying his face in her neck, and she feels the little stick in his hand, pushing into her chest.

"Hey, let's leave this here."

"No!" He shakes his head fiercely, eyes flashing as he hugs it and she doesn't really understand.

"Wes,"

"No!" And then he's pushing it toward her, offering it with eyes so sad and she sees, she understands and it hits her like a tidal wave. It's the only thing he has and he's giving it to her.

"For me?" That's when he nods and she nuzzles him, nose against his cheek. "Oh Cub."

The stick comes with him, between their palms, all the way to the house - inside to be cherished as the first gift her son has ever given.

He runs off the second she puts him down, blazing a staggered trail through the foyer and she knows she should follow him, make sure he doesn't get into something or fall but she's stuck. Feet glued to the floor and eyes locked on that little stick in her hand. She sniffs before she even realizes that she's actually crying. Crying about a stick.

The things her Castle boys do to her emotions. She closes her fingers around it, drawing her fist up to rest protectively against her chest. It isn't until she hears Wes jabbering and the sound of footsteps that she realizes she's not alone. Looking up just in time to see her boys watching her.

"Hey,"

"You alright? What happened?" Castle is stepping closer, wrapping his hand around her elbow before she can even get a word out. She offers him a smile, affection and love pouring through as he thumbs her cheek, collecting a tear that managed to escape.

"M'okay. Wes just...it sounds stupid."

"I doubt that." Instead of explaining, she gives their son a smile too as he hugs Castle's leg and then she's opening her palm and showing her husband what their son has given her. "A stick?"

"Wes gave it to me. He _gave _it to me."

He doesn't laugh, doesn't think it's stupid judging by the way his eyes soften as he pulls her against his chest, mouth landing beneath her eye. He understands. Completely. He always understands.

* * *

"Come on Charlie, all you have to do is...here, look at Momma, I'll show you how."

And if Castle catches her doing this, she's never going to live it down but she doesn't care and he's busy with dinner. She's a little worried. Ella is crawling, mastered it in just the few hours and then there's Charlotte. Her little lazy Cash doesn't even seem interested, won't even push herself up on her hands and knees.

Not even when Kate is showing her how, down in the floor next to Boomer and his judgmental stare as she pushes up. Charlie giggles, chewing on her elephants foot and smacking her hands against the floor.

"C'mon, don't you wanna be like sissy?" She just stares up at her, blue eyes smiling and Kate wonders if maybe there's something holding her back. Maybe there's a reason she's slow to pick up on this. "You crawl and you can chase Ella all over when she gets done eating."

Nothing. Still. Nothing is motivating enough and even when Wes joins, crawling around to mimic Kate, Charlie just lays on her stomach and chomps away at her toy. Attention elsewhere, not even focused on what's happening or anything besides that purple little elephant.

"Can I see your toy, Charlie?" She reaches for it, propped on her side, an elbow holding her up as Wes crawls over her legs. His stomach against her as he drops to push his favorite car over her foot.

Kate eases the purple slobbery blob away from her daughter, tries to coax her forward with it. Thinking she'll come after it since it seems to be the only thing she wants today. But it doesn't work. The baby doesn't push herself up, doesn't try and when her lip starts to tremble, Kate knows she made a huge mistake. The first wail and the fat tears that roll down her daughter's face make her chest constrict.

"Oh no, baby, don't cry. Here." She gives the elephant back but it doesn't help. Charlotte is screaming. Red faced and loud cries. Kate reaches, pulls her closer, rolling on her back to rest the girl against her. "Look, it's all okay."

She hugs her, cuddles her close and buries her nose in her hair. Whispering sweet nothings and trying to calm her as she rubs a hand over her back. Her words becoming apologies as the cries eventually turn quiet and morph into sniffles. She hugs her daughter, doesn't let go for hours, clings because she hurt her feelings and she hates it.

Castle asks but she doesn't tell him. She says nothing really all through dinner with Charlie in her lap and even when she starts getting them ready for bed, matching duck pajamas for all three of them, she tells him that she's okay. Because she is - she will be. She just needs some time to get over the look on Charlotte's face, the hurt in her eyes.

It isn't until after the kids are down for the count that Kate lets herself retrace the steps of her day. The entirety of it flashing through her brain as she snuggles beneath the blanket, her arm wrapping around the solid form in the middle of the mattress. The warmth stretched out in front of her, the soft fur beneath her fingertips and she nudges his nose with her own. The cool wet of it clearing her mind.

"I messed up today Booms." He yawns in her face, his back paw pushing at her hip. "You don't care, do you? As long as I snuggle, you're perfectly content."

She rubs her fingers over his face, watches him blink in the lamp light, his blue eyes heavy when she gives his ears a scratch, his tail thumping lazily against the bed.

"I feel bad though, I didn't mean to make her cry."

"Kate," The sound is a sigh, barely her name and she knew he'd hear, knew he'd be coming out of the bathroom any second and she gazes up at him, watches as he gets in the bed. Blocked by the dog in between them. "Boomer, you're a good dog, but I'd like you more if you weren't in the bed right now."

He doesn't move. Just huffs and closes his eyes until Kate lets him go, whispers to him.

"Go check on the babies, Booms." And he's gone. Running out of the room and they both know he'll be curled up in front of the cribs in the morning. "He's a good dog."

"The best." Castle claims the spot their dalmatian just vacated and she eases into him, face ducking into his chest.

"I made Charlotte cry. I was just trying to get her to crawl and I took the elephant -"

"Kate, she's a baby. She gets her feelings hurt easily and she won't even remember. You didn't scar our child, I promise." His mouth meets her forehead, hand at her chin, tilting until she's meeting his mouth with her own. The day melting away with the heat of his fingers slipping up her back. The weight of him against her front as she sighs. "Get some sleep, it's been a long day."

"Mm, one night, we're going to get to bed early and I promise I'll make it worth your while."

"I've no doubt, but we're both exhausted, sleep Kate." And she does.

**a/n: Next up is more Hamptons time and possibly the July 4th celebration. Haven't quite decided just yet. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Still a no.  
**

**A/N: So in Number One, Wes was born on October 4th - which is today. So this is a birthday chapter for two people (even though one is fictional). **

**Karisa is my little sister in every way that counts - she's always here for me when I need her and we cry over everything Castle/Stana/Cub related and don't even care who judges us for it. She's my baby Ris and I can't imagine my life without her in it. Wouldn't want to even try. Her birthday is Sunday and I'm giving her this chapter as an early present. Happy (early) Birthday Ris! I love you so much.  
**

It's still warm out. Midnight and the moon having no hold over the heat that settled. That's part of the reason she's up, why she crawled out from under Castle's body to slip into a pair of shorts and one of his shirts, why she grabbed her iPod and headed out. It's nice, the music in her ears, the warmth on her face, the light reflecting off the water.

It's peaceful and steady. All of her kids are still sleeping - she checked before coming outside, even made sure their older sister was as well. A family week for the upcoming Independence Day celebration her husband is set on having. She doesn't mind. Already planning the kids' outfits and coordinating colors. On nights like this one - when she's bouncing around in her own thoughts - all of this still seems so crazy. Their life. The fact that she went from not being able to stand him to falling in love with him, to finally being with him and then their son happened. She regrets nothing. Not a thing about their story because she doesn't wish to change it, knows they took the path they were supposed to.

And she has a family because of it. She has a son and daughters, a husband, even a boneheaded cuddly dog that's not good for much other than snuggles and love. The song changes, she barely notices, too caught up in her thoughts. The things that keep her awake when she should be sated and passed out. All good thoughts, mostly. A few about how her vacation is coming to an end soon and how she actually feels about that.

Ella is crawling, Charlie still isn't. Wes learns new words almost every single day, repeating things he hears more than a few times. Today she caught her boys outside when it was supposed to be nap time for all little cubs. Both of them pointing at the sky, Castle teaching their boy to say 'bird' and she wanted to be frustrated, tell him that Wes needed a nap but she couldn't because her son was delighted and smiling. Repeating 'bir' over and over again. Not quite grasping the full length and pronunciation but doing well enough that it kept both troublesome boys away from time-out.

The wind whips her hair, long waves dancing as she steps a little closer to the water. Lets it come up with each wave to wash over her toes. She doesn't hear anything over the sound flowing through the headphones but she catches movement out of the corner of her eye, feels her heart jolt and body tense as she whirls around. A heavy breath of relief when she catches Castle rubbing at his eye with the heel of his hand. He looks tired, barely awake and she doesn't stop him from reaching, grabbing at the shirt she _borrowed _and pulling her close.

She lets one side of her earbuds drop, listens in case he's saying something. He isn't. Just hugging her close, hands sliding around her waist. She steps into him, pressing her mouth to his neck. It's a brief touch, ended by her pulling back, eying him, catching his gaze in the moonlight.

He answers her silent inquiry. His voice deep, sleepy.

"I couldn't find you."

"I wasn't tired, I didn't want to wake you." Her plan obviously failed. It was always hit or miss with him. Sometimes he never noticed when she vacated their bed to do some thinking and other nights were like tonight. He followed. "You're getting sand all over your pants."

"It's your fault." She scoffs at him, says nothing as he plucks the headphone dangling between them, slips it in his ear. His fingers returning to their dance along her spine.

She buries her smile in the front of his shirt when he starts to sway. His body moving hers and it takes only minutes - one full song and him humming - before she asks.

"Are we dancing?"

"It's better than just standing here and I do believe we made a pact to dance more often."

"Yes, in our underwear if I remember correctly." She looks up, catches the wiggle of his eyebrows and shakes her head at him. "Don't even think about it, Castle."

"What's keeping you up?"

"I don't know, just wired for some reason." He doesn't comment, doesn't ask again, just pulls her in closer, tucks her head beneath his chin and sways them, slowly spinning them in small circles. The playlist she's listening to a perfect soundtrack for what he's doing. And she gives in to it, the pull of dancing with him instead of going back inside, trying to force herself to sleep.

Sharing her music, singing softly against his neck and she can feel his fingers tugging and twisting through the ends of her hair. The wind tangling it around his hand, slapping it in his face but he doesn't complain. Well, nothing more than an occasional sputter when it ends up in his mouth. They dance, in the quiet of the night. Alone. Together.

Five songs becomes six and he's barely moving anymore, just gently rocking with her, no longer a dance just a hug that moves from side to side. When she pulls back, his eyes are closed, his face relaxed and she reaches up to caress his cheek, swipe her thumb beneath his eye. He leans into it, opens his baby blues just to smile at her and she rocks up on her toes, nudges his nose with hers.

"Let's go back to bed."

"Thought you weren't tired." It's a mumble, something he does when he's sleepy, something their son has inherited and it's cute. Adorable enough that she huffs a laugh against his lips, pushing it into him with a kiss. Teeth trapping his bottom lip and tongue sweeping over it.

It gets the reaction she's hoping for, the clutch of his hands, one coming up to rest at the base of her skull, cradle her in place as he kisses her back. She breaks it too quickly, leaves him chasing after her mouth.

"I'm sure I can find something to entertain me." She steps away, leaves him standing, wrapping her headphones around her iPod and glancing back over her shoulder just to make sure he's following. He is.

They sneak through the door quietly, abandoning the iPod on an end table and she makes a quip about feeling like a teenager again, his hands already unbuttoning the front of her shirt before they make it to their bedroom but she's smacking at him. Stopping him with a heated press of her mouth to his.

"Let me just check on the babies. I'll be right back." Ignoring the groan, she pushes him towards the bed and leaves his panting.

She hurries, sprinting to the nursery and peeking through the doorway. Stepping in closer to scratch at Boomer's head and watch her daughter's for just a few seconds. The soft breathing, the wiggling, the way Charlie scrunches her nose sometimes. She really meant to be quick but she pauses, leans over their cribs to give each of them a soft kiss, stroke their hair.

And when she leaves, she quietly makes her way to their son's Hampton's bedroom, a Finding Nemo theme that Castle just had to have for their Cub. He's buried beneath a pile of blankets, starfished across his little bed. And she kneels next to him, rubs his back, whispers softly and then she's gone. Heading back to the man she left.

She knows before she ever makes it to their door that leaving for just a few minutes was a mistake. The sound of soft snoring greeting her before she ever sees him curled in the middle of the bed. Taking up the majority of space with his large frame. She almost wakes him, but he's snuffling in his sleep, mumbling something she can't understand and she just isn't capable of interrupting.

She strips out of the shorts, leaves them in the floor for the night and crawls in next to him, pushing into his side and trying to claim a spot as her own. He leans into her, makes it impossible and she gives up, turns on her side to tangle her legs with his and pull the blankets over them both. A quick kiss to his cheek, a brush of her fingers through the floppy hair over his forehead and she's closing her eyes, content. She'll wake him later.

* * *

She rises to the light of day, the soft touch of fingers massaging over the top of her foot. Mindless touch and when her eyes blink open, she catches sight of legs next to her face, Castle lying at the opposite end of the bed, his laptop in front of him. Writing, most likely or researching something ridiculous that she'll tease him about.

He's immersed, completely buried in the words he's skimming through, not even noticing when she pulls her feet away from his hand or when she shifts up on her knees. She rolls her eyes, swings a leg over him, settles against his back and presses a kiss to his shoulder. He hums at her, still paying more attention to the document and she catches enough letters and words to know it's something Nikki.

She tries to grab his attention by scraping her fingers over the back of his head, massaging at his scalp and whispering in his ear.

"Hey,"

"Hey,"

"So what's Nikki up to?" It has him shrugging a shoulder, knowing she doesn't actually want that answer and she rests her chin there, nose rubbing at his cheek. "You writing today or are you procrastinating again?"

"I'll have you know, I've been writing for almost two hours."

"Are the babies still asleep?" He shakes his head, turning to smudge a kiss to her lips. A soft smack that leaves her smiling, leaning in to nip his earlobe.

"Mother and Alexis took our spawn so it'd be quieter, less distractions."

"Our _spawn_?" Another shrug of his shoulder, the one she's leaning on and she bites him. A playful sinking of her teeth into him that has makes him wiggle his hips, try to shake her off. She flexes her thighs on either side of him, sighs softly in his ear.

"I believe my wife is trying to distract me from my work."

"I believe you're right." And it's true that she's been on him about his writing, not wanting him to fall behind anymore than he already has. She wants him caught up, she wants that next book. But at the moment, she just wants him. "Kids are gone, you think Nikki can spare you for a few minutes?"

It's the growl that has her chuckling, the way he tosses her easily from his back, rolls to pin her on their bed and the words he breathes into her mouth. His eyes twinkling with every syllable she swallows.

"Surely we can manage more than a _few _minutes." She wants to say something, retaliate, play just a little but he smothers her lips with his and the most she can manage is a muffled moan.

**a/n: Short little Caskett chapter because I thought they could use a little time to themselves.  
**


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